Road Trip Tips

FOR MEN ONLY - I have traveled by car all across this great country, so I know a thing or two about road trippin it. There is numerous amounts of things that can go wrong or other challenges that may present themselves when on the road for 20 straight hours, and today Im gonna tell you how to win the battle with your bladder.

At your first stop, which is usually for food, a mans man will upgrade his drink size. Doing this is the problem and yet the solution at the same time. Lets say you are back on the road for about an hour or so and you all of the sudden you really have to take a leak. Some people look for rest stops, I consider that cheating and it really hurts your arrival time. Heres what you can do instead, take your empty big gulp cup which is now your portable bathroom. I suggest you tip the cup at a slight angle to allow for maximum urine and no spillage. This move comes as no big secret to some men.  The tough part is the dismount, I know from experience. Usually on a road trip you're doing 75mph on a highway and any rookie will just stick it out the window and dump it. This mistake will result in piss all over your window, car, hand, and arm. It can ruin an afternoon and the smell of your car. What you need to do is a little move I like to call the "Deceleration Dump"

WARNING!!! - Move works best when driving solo. To properly execute the DD(Deceleration Dump) here is what you need to do. First, kick off your cruise control so that your cars speed lowers at a consistent rate. Second, once your cars speed has dropped below the 45 mph mark you are free to roll your window down. An lastly, place the pee gulp out the window with maximum arm stretch and turn it over. Follow these simple steps and youre on your way to smooth sailing.