When is that first fart ok?

This is a hot topic over in Russia, so I thought I would bring it to the states. After how many days or weeks is it ok to let that first fart rip in front of your girlfriend? Albert Einstein didn't know the answer, even Wikipedia can't help you get out of this predicament, but thank your lucky stars cause I can and I will help you.
Standard amount of time is 7 weeks. Why seven? Because 6 weeks is way too early, if you do it the broad is probably thinking "That was rude, I was in the middle of a bowl of Special K and he passed gas, what a pig". Now if you wait 8 weeks, that's an eternity. She will probably get all nervous and start thinking to herself "oh my god its already been eight weeks, why hasn't he farted in front of me yet, did I do something wrong? does he hate me? do I look fat?". So gentlemen, your timeline for a fart with a new woman is 7 weeks, just dont aim it at them, its rude and not funny until the 5 month mark.

Safety first boys and girls

I like the beach, I like the ocean, and I love being outdoors. I hate sharks, I swim slow, and they eat people. Here is my easy solution, don't go deeper than your knees. That way if a shark is headed for you, you can jump out of the way. The only time my upper body touches salt water is when I am diving to catch a football in shallow waters, or if some random munson splashes me and then in that case I immediately turn around and throw a huge clump of wet sand at his head.
I like to stick to pools, that way I know the only thing thats gonna touch my leg is the creepy vacuum that rides along the bottom. So when I do hit the ocean I'm always on the lookout for a fin sticking out of the water and you should too. I may be overcautious but I enjoy having all my limbs in tact, its kinda tough to eat boneless wings with no arms.

Sharks - 0
Nick - 1

- Nick Hall

Girl turn off No.1

I am a big fan of the female gender and I enjoy most things about them. Except for the nose ring, and that is my girl turn off number 1. Nothing ruins a pretty face more than a nose ring. The worst is when it catches you off guard too, cause you've only seen her from the one side. Then she does a little spin move and Bam! She turns from a bonified hottie to looking like the princess of India in the snap of a finger. The term "less is more" applies here. So ladies if you have a nose ring, dont start to cry and get all emotional on me, just go in the bathroom, take it out, and then call that guy you've been crushing on, he may just answer now.

-Nick Hall

Throw Back Thursday

On throwback Thursday we like to give a little insight to some of our favorite childhood memories. This memory just so happens to be the Dirty Dunk basketball hamper. Shooting dirty drawers from across the room has never been so much fun, unless they had skidmarks, in that case you just shot it with your foot.

I personally never had one of these and it almost ruined my childhood. Lucky for me I was blessed with a buddy named Todd Silverman., he had one and would always let me come over and shoot all the dirty clothes I could handle. In case anyone likes planning ahead seven months, I would really like a Basketball hoop hamper under the tree this Christmas season.

Busting Myths - Gum

I myself am a big fan of having a pack of gum in my pocket when I am out. On the rare occasion that I dont have a piece on me, I usually ask someone I see who is chewing some. There's usually 12 to 20 pieces in a pack, so when you hear the overused phrase of, "Oh Sorry that was my last piece" you know they're F'n lying. They just dont want to give away anymore gum in case they need some for later. I used to use this phrase, but then I graduated from Junior High.

If you want to beat this myth here is what you should do; when asking someone, Asking loudly will draw a lot of attention to the people around you. So walk over and whisper, hey do you by chance have any gum? This will increase your chance at that chewy delicious and decrease your chance at receiving "Sorry dude, that was my last piece"

- Nick Hall

Better than studying

Every few weeks I will reveal a trademark move on how to score a few extra points on your exam. Some call it cheating, I just call it being awesome. This next move scored me a "C" on a world history test that I clearly would of failed otherwise.

Here is what you do,
1) Locate the nearest restroom in proximity to your classroom.
2) Take your notes or printed out study guide and hide it underneath the garbage can in the bathroom right before your exam.
3) About halfway through your test, make sure youve read all of your questions and raise your hand.
4) Make an awkward face and tell the teacher its an emergency that you need to go to the bathroom, cause you cant even think.
5)Sit in the handicap stall(more legroom) with your notes and find out what you will need to answer the rest of the questions.
6) After 5 minutes, place notes back under garbage can, and go in there with some added confidence and finish that exam.

Not cool

Subway, Jimmy Johns, and all you other places who sell those small bags of chips need to listen up, My boy Davenport and I were talking, were both men who enjoy a good side of chips with our meal. Here is what I don’t enjoy, opening up a bag of chips to see its filled 70 percent with air and 30 percent with chips. Im not a mathematician but that I know that ratio isn't right. If this madness keeps up, pretty soon we will be paying over a dollar for about 9 chips. Someone needs to take a stand. I would, but I sprained my ankle a few summers back.

-Nick Hall

YouTube Tuesday

Before you watch this turn up the volume...



Just one of our many YUMMY traditions. Send us your funniest YouTube flicks to yummybro@gmail.com

Sent by: Nick Murphy

Big Gulp Award Winner

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes to Jimmy Fallon. His new show late night with Jimmy Fallon is on NBC at 11:35 cst. Its a classic show and well deserving of this weeks Big Gulp Award.

Viewer Write-In (No.4)

Facebook Status' - By Kyle Morden

I'm here to tell you, that thousands of young Americans, creepy parents, aunts, and uncles are carelessly and incorrectly using a crucial social element; Facebook status updates. Sure you have a facebook account and you got a few friends on there, but you guys are all over the road.

Don't panic. As a seasoned facebook status updater with well over 1,000 status updates under my belt, I'm here to offer you a few common update pitfalls to avoid.

1. Fight the urge to point out the obvious - Posting stuff like "Mondays suck", "I hate the snow" or " I can't wait for finals to be over" is a lot like pissing in the wind. Unless you just got a friend request from a kid that's been living under a rock, you're not telling anyone something they don't already know.

2. Poetic music lyrics/ Inner dialogue - don't do it, most people have no idea what you're talking about and it creeps us out. Everyone has a friend from high school that's a little emo now and is always writing sappy or weird stuff hoping to give people a look into their feelings. Not interested......NEXT!!

3. Religion/ Politics - What the F are you doing sharing your viewpoints on this kinda stuff on a site that always you to "super poke" someone. I could go into more detail about how you're attempts to "raise awareness" make people cringe, but then we'd have to debate and you'd like that too much. Save it for CNN munson!

Follow these few simple rules and your friends will stop deleting you. Drive Safe!

- Kyle Morden

Sorry but its a fact

In my lifetime, I have always thanked the big dog upstairs for making me a guy. Theres just so much to be thankful for; we can pee anywhere we want, get to keep our last name, and can play pro sports and have people actually watch. I once did a Pros and Cons to being a girl. and there was only 3 Pros I could come up with and about 11,000 cons.

Pros:
Pro 1 - You get free stuff (dinners, drinks, get guys to carry stuff)
Pro 2 - You can get out of speeding tickets and detentions(I try flashing these baby blues, but I am 0 for 7)
Pro 3 - Dont have to work if the husband makes a lot of dough

a few cons, to prove my point:
Con 1 - Getting a period (Bruuutal)
Con 2 - if you kiss 2 different guys in the same decade, you're a slut
Con 3 - carry a baby for 9 months and push it out a hole the size of my belly button
con 578 - Pay 135 dollars for a haircut and coloring (when it looks identical to it did yesterday)

CarDancer

9 out of 10 people like to really feel their jams in the car, but not everyone knows the proper car dancing techniques. We all know you can't do the stanky leg on your way home from work, but with Nick's help and a little practice, you'll be getting honks the whole ride down the interstate. Welcome to . . . the CarDancer.

Coke > Pepsi

Question, How on earth is Pepsi still around? Ive never seen a friends fridge with a case of Pepsi in it. Everywhere you go, no one has ever ordered a Pepsi, if you want a pop you always say "I'll take a diet coke please" and then the waitress looks at you and makes this sad face like shes about to tell you that you have cancer and softly says "is Pepsi ok?"
I always say that its fine, but one of these days I am gonna say "You know what hoe, Pepsi's not ok". I also hate those people who say you can't tell a difference. Maybe if you've been sniffing glue since October. I could be a Prisoner of war in Thailand for 27 years and still tell the difference. Even when I came back to the US, if someone handed me a Pepsi, I'd pour it out and say "Thats low you son of a bitch"

Alexander Ovechkin

If you can make a stick bend like this on a slapshot, you're either A) The best Hockey Player on the planet or B)David Copperfield.

Correct answer: A.

Dude is missing a front tooth and closely resembles the 8 foot Mr Larson in Happy Gilmore, but is still considered Brad Pitt in Russia. If youre ugly and strugglin with the ladies, hit up the USSR.

Yo playa pass the kleenex

For about the past decade I have caught grief from some of my friends and family for one main reason . . . I cry in sad movies. It all started about 11 years ago, I was watching Big Daddy in the Theatres with some buddies, then that ugly dude from child services comes in and takes the kid away from Sonny. My eyes started to water and before I knew it, shiz was rollin down my cheek. I thought it was normal to cry in movies so I asked around and found out that it wasn't too common.
The notebook, oh please. I watched this flick and no joke, had a stuffy nose and tears comin down for a like a month. You can call me gay or a loser, but if you dont cry in that movie, its like your made of stone and chicks don't dig that. They dig a man whos soft enough to cry, but confident enough that he doesnt need to wipe away those tears. Wow can Nick do it all? Yes. . . yes I can.

other movies cried in:
Hardball (G-Baby gets shot)
John Q
Selena (kidding)
The Green Mile
Seven Pounds

Nick Halls - Jam you should download

The Script - The man who cant be moved

only download it if you like good songs

Lake Dawsons - Jam you should download

Jeremih - Birthday Sex

Throw Back Thursday

Doesnt matter if you're now a multi-millionaire and driving a Ferrari, You always remember that first whip you had when you were 16. I have so many memories with my first car in high school, well mainly because I still drive that piece. Whether it was breaking down on me or we were piling in it and rolling to a party, I was always making memories in my 1995 Mercedes Benz. Some of you were lucky enough to get brand new whips for your sweet 16s, and some of us weren’t. Didnt stop me from ripping the hoes. What was your first car and a sick memory you had with it.

Five Ohh

This may just be me or my fear of getting a ticket, but everytime I see a police officer on the road I instantly start to dump in my pants. Doesn't matter if I am driving 3 mph under the speed limit, I still feel like Im headed to the Big House. When I first catch a glimpse of that squad car thoughts start running through my head. here is just some of the stupid crap that I usually think of:

"We made eye contact, Im totally screwed"
"If he pulls me over, is my detention from 7th grade on my record?"
"Did I use my signal on that turn 7 miles back?"
"Even though he is on the opposite side of an 8 lane highway, he saw me speeding for sure"
"My hats on backwards, frick, he prolly thinks I stole this thing"
"Is he turning around? . . crap, hes turning around . . wait no, hes not"
"Are my brake lights working, Did he see me tap the brake?"
"When I was 18, I dated a 17 year old and we made out, thats legal though right?"
"Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, Pshh! theres not even a cop in that car. . . knew it"
"I only get 1 phone call, who should I use it on?"

Pocket Essentials

Besides my 15 dollar Nokia Go-Phone (shit is the jam) and my wallet, I like to keep my pockets as empty as possible. I carry only two other things. You never know when that broad your digging is going to surprise you with a reach-in-tug, plus if your women are as cool as mine they carry all of Walgreens in their purse.

1. Chap Stick- If you haven’t gotten in the Chap Stick game yet now is the time, and you can thank me later. Smooth lips will get you around the bases faster than Ricky Henderson in his prime, I promise. There are all sorts of flavors and consistencies, but one major factor you need to know is - stay away from the Carmex. Your lips will reflect sunlight for miles, and its heroin in a plastic tube.

2. Orange Trident- If you have a girlfriend this maybe a tip you don't want to take from me, because if you’re surrounded by 10's all hours of the day like I am, this is a smell they flock too. I chew this orange piece of heaven in my sleep.

-Lake Dawson

Busting Myths - Gasoline

I don't know anything about gasoline, or the elements that make it up. But Here is what I do know. Everytime you pull into a gas station you see a sign that usually reads something like this:

Unleaded - $2.49
Super Unleaded - $2.59
Premium - $ 2.79

I personally think that they're all the exact same type of gas. How so? you're probably asking yourself. Well, look at the tube it comes out of, its jet black. They could pump Hi-C Fruit Punch into my car and I wouldnt even know it. Also its never like my car has sounded smoother or drove 100 miles more when I experimented with that premium non-sense. Take it from me, go with the cheapest gas and with the money you're saving its like that Big Gulp you just bought was free

YouTube Tuesdays

This video is too good, watch it once and its ok, twice and its the best commericial ever

Just one of our many YUMMY traditions. Send us your funniest YouTube flicks to yummybro@gmail.com

Sent by: Nick Hall

To stand or not to stand

To stand or not to stand? that is thy question. About a year ago my roommate DJ Nasty and I had a very heated debate on wiping in the bathroom. It all started when he heard that I wiped standing up, (well not completely upright, more like a good bend of the knees or an athletic stance shall I say). His reaction was "WHAT? Ive never even heard of that before". So then I asked him how he wipes, and he says "Sitting down, and I raise a leg up a little, lean left and wipe". I looked at him like he had 3 heads, I was just as baffled at his response to wiping as he was 10 seconds earlier to mine. So I pose this question to you, Do you stand or sit when you wipe?
- Please COMMENT BELOW

(if you're embarrased, post under Anonymous)

- Nick Hall

Viewer Write-In (No.3)

Trim that shit

Here’s a list of a few athletes that need to cut their hair.

Manny Ramierez, LF (LA Dodgers)
Am I the only one that thinks Manny’s hair gets in his way? It’s almost hard to watch him, especially in the outfield. Dude looks like Bob Marley in a baseball cap. His hat size has to be 11 and 7/8. If Manny just cut his hair, he might add 100 points to his batting average and make around 45 wigs for the needy.

Troy Polamalu, SS (Pittsburgh Steelers)
Here’s another guy that desperately needs a chop. Just like Manny, his hair has to affect his play. There’s no way it’s comfortable to shove all that hair into a tight fitting helmet. I don’t blame Larry Johnson for trying to rip it off…

Anderson Varejao, PF (Cleveland Cavs)
This mop of a person just looks goofy out there. The thing about Varejao is, he might be a good looking guy if he had a regular hair cut, but for now the Sideshow Bob comparison is on point.

Chris Anderson, PF (Denver Nuggets)
Chris "Birdman" Anderson’s hair looks like a six grader, who just discovered the wonders of gel. Way way way too spikey, his pillowcases have to have holes everywhere. Also, when he starts to sweat, it can’t be a good situation.

Josh Childress, SF (Olympiacos)
J-Chill wouldn’t even look cool in the 70's, The fro has gots to go.

-Jake Slocum

The Big Gulp Award - (NEW)

The Big Gulp Award sponsored by Microsoft Paint. This is going to be a weekly award, given out by the Yummy Bro staff to a person or group of people who are deserving of this honor. It can be someone famous, an average joe, or just a fan who writes some hilarious comments that week. Theres no limitations to whom the recipient can be. It could be a Tele-tubby for all we care, but he better have a damn good week .

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes to Jesse Seykora (Owatonna, MN) Jesse got engaged today to a broad he must really like. Congrats Jesse and give her the ole 1, 2 combo for me later on tonight,, ohhhhhhh

The Ultimate Man

I like to consider myself the ultimate man, but then I watch Braveheart on TNT for the 37th time. While I am laying on my couch munching on freeze pops, this guy is sleepin with a dime piece and the princess of England is totally jockin on him. Not to mention he fluently speaks english, french, and latin. Dude rides horses and slices people with a 7 foot sword, annnnnd he doesnt say a peep when they're punshing him with torture tactics. I still yell for my mom when my brother flicks my ear. So after this 3 hour movie, I have come to the realization that this guy is clearly the ultimate male, but you know Im that close second!

-Nick Hall

Dont e-mail it . . . G-mail it!

For the past month, I've been doing my best to keep you Busta's on the up and up. Well here is just another tid-bit of knowledge that you need to know. All those email addresses that you had or still may have, are played out. AOL hasn't been cool since the millennium hit or should I say Will-ennium for all you gettin jiggy wit it fans. Hotmail and Yahoo are both good choices too if you like the cool kids throwing rocks at you. G-mail is the only way to go now-a-days. Its like the Wal-mart of emails, got it all. I may even name my first born son Gmail.

-Nick Hall

CarDancer

9 out of 10 people like to really feel their jams in the car, but not everyone knows the proper car dancing techniques. We all know you can't do the stanky leg on your way home from work, but with Nick's help and a little practice, you'll be getting honks the whole ride down the interstate. Welcome to . . . the CarDancer.

Knock it off

Pet peeves; Man o man, we all have one or two things that get under our skin from time to time. For me, its when people taste or smell something awful and then they proceed to offer it to me, so I can give it a whirl.
My old roommate used to tell me how brutal his clothes stunk and then throw them to me on the couch like I was curious to as how bad they smelled, No thanks Munson, don't want a whiff, I'll just take your word for it. I usually get this next one about once a month, "This pop tastes like piss, here you take a sip" . . . Now why on earth would I want a sip of your coke that you said tastes like piss just a few seconds ago.
Use your head people and stop offering me non-benificial stuff. Now if you want to pass me an extra boneless wing or have me smell that new fragrence you just bought, I'm in, and I'll probably say something like: No doubt kid, You know this trick, Obvy, hit the Hall Trane, or All day fool!

- Nick Hall

Throw Back Thursday

Channel 99


Tip toe down the stairs, keep that finger rested over the power button on the remote so you can anticipate movement upstairs, volumes high enough so you can hear a moan or two, but low enough not to wake anyone else in the house, and your eyes glued to every movement on that blurry screen. Even if you read your bible every night you still knew the drill. . . channel 99. In 6th grade girls stuffed their bras, rocked side ponytails, braces, and were hardly teenagers, so the 11 minute wait to see a multicolored nip was a breeze.

-Lake Dawson

Ugg Bootys

Ugg boots are an acquired taste, and I acquired it about 3 years ago. I don’t know jack about fashion or the first thing about boots, but I do know that these things are gold. When I see a girlie wearing these I go coo coo for cocoa puffs. If you’re a 4 they magically turn you into a 7.5, not many things can do that, besides big black sunglasses. (A female can look like cookie monster, but once she puts those big ass shades on, I'd wink at her). Some guys may not appreciate this type of footwear on a broad and that’s cool, just means more for the Hall Trane.

-Nick Hall

What you know about Baseball hats

There are gamers and then there are gays. I’m not talking about people that play video games for a living or even people that like others of the same sex, I’m talking about Baseball hats. With hats you have 2 kinds; originals that are worn by major leaguers on the field and Gays. Gay hats are usually original hats altered to fit some new style or gang affiliation. They always consist of weird ass colors, like an Atlanta Braves hat that is Green and Orange. I wouldn’t be caught dead in anything other than a gamer, so if you’re wearing a gay hat take it off immediately, hop in your car, go directly to lids and get yourself a gamer. . . . . Then slap yourself in the face.



- Lake Dawson

Regional Terms - Soft Drink

Orange States - Call it "Pop"

Green States - Call it "Soda"

Pink States - No one cares

Blue States - refer to everything as "Coke"

Grey States - Call it "Tonic"

Red State - still not entirely sure if they speak English over there

- Nick Hall

Youtube Tuesday's

Just one of our many YUMMY traditions. Send us your funniest YouTube flicks to yummybro@gmail.com

Sent by: Will Thompson

Noel

With Christmas only 7 months away and me already wanting to hang my wreath, I pose this question to all the viewers. What was the worst present you've ever got? (please comment below)

-Nick Hall

Getting that Juice

Nick Halls - Jam you should download

Gomez - Air Stream Driver

Lake Dawsons - Jam you should download

Eminem - Old Time's Sake (Feat. Dr. Dre)

Hey, Who is this?

Look, I get it, We haven't talked in almost a year and you deleted my number. Its cool, Ive deleted numbers too. I usually do it when I'm bored and sitting on the toilet, I go through my phones contact list and delete old numbers. What makes me mad is that people lie about it. If I text someone out of the blue and get the reply: “Hey who is this, I got a new phone?” I instantly want to chuck a rock at the person. Because nine times out of ten they’re blatantly lying to you. They just figured they had no use for your number anymore and would free up some space on their cell. Don’t be fooled by this Junior High tactic, I never am!

- Nick Hall

This Trend is Brutal

I don't know when it started or who was the first to do it, but holding up the sideways peace sign in a picture got old. . . real fast. There is way, way, way too many different variations of this maneuver. Some people throw it up just for a photo, others will even throw it up with both hands (demonstrated here by my buddy Joel on the right). The absolute gayest of the poses is when the person will pucker up their lips while throwin it up. In their head they are thinking "gosh Im so bad ass, everbody wants this" but when the photo gets developed or posted on the book(facebook for you rookies) everyone else is thinking, "gosh what a tool, kid cant't even read". I apologize to Derrick for using your picture as an example, but you should be thankful I am helping to spread awareness of this stupid trend.

p.s. Derrick and Joel are cool dudes, so try not judge them by this picture

-Nick Hall

Dirt Nasty Saturday

Dirt Nasty a.k.a. Simon Rex is an actor in movies like Scary Movie 3 and 4, but he also drops serious jams on the side. Here is some of his songs. Dude is classic

Link - [Like it was 1980] Starts off slow, but its worth the wait

Link - [Droppin names] His dancing at 1:35, 3:08, and 3:27 is butter

Link - [Cracker ass fantastic]

Awesome phrase of the day

The word obvious or obviously is thrown around a lot, so to make more time in my life for stuff I really want to do like Dance party's and Buffalo Wild Wings, I use a shortened version. The word that I and other Ballers use now is "Obvy". Its basically the 2009 version of the word "duh". Trust me, the kid would never steer you wrong, you start using obvy and you'll have hoes beatin down your door like the S.W.A.T. team. I turned my man John Allen onto it a few days ago and now the dudes got a full beard and 4 girlfriends.

examples:
- How'd the date go last night, you get an HJ? . . . Obvy
- Yo kid, you want another slice of this DiGiorno? . . . Obvy

-Nick Hall

Big Gulp Update

Send Yummy Bro a picture of you holdin up a Big Gulp and will post that biz right away!

Email the pic to yummybro@gmail.com

Hall Trane says its fake

I am so sick of these dorks who sneeze 3 times in a row, and all of the sudden they have the swine flu. Its been shutting down schools, parades, and sporting events. The disease is a fake out, just so people can wear those cool little white masks. I did not attend Medical school but I do shop at Walgreens. The whole thing was made up by the Mexicans, so now I gotta step in and take control of the situation. Put it this way if Swine flu was a condiment, I'd put that shiz on my bagel. When the Hall Trane says its fake then you know its gotta be.

-Nick Hall

Always Drink and Drive

Every night before I go to bed, I kneel down, fold my hands, and thank God for 3 things in my life; My health, my family, and Big Gulps. It doesn't matter if your a little baller and hit up that 32oz or you're a shot caller like I am and go for that big dog. From the second I open those glass doors of Exxon I only make eye contact with one thing, that 64 oz bucket of heaven sitting by the fountain machine. I walk straight over to it and fill it to the brim with ice, then I proceed to drop as much diet coke in as humanly possible. Don't think for a minute that having one big gulp a month is gonna make you cooler to your peers, Ive been drinkin these things steadily since age 13 and I'm just now starting to get the respect I deserve on the streets. Its the best 99 cents you can spend, and a great treat for a thirsty friend. Big Gulps are yummy bro!

- Nick Hall

Top 5 Ugliest Cats in Sports

What’s embarrassing is they all probably get top notch broads on the reg.

5. Sam Cassell, currently a free agent- If you question the existence of aliens and Area 51 then just take another look at this dude and question no more. Also, his eyes are easily seven inches apart, I think average width on a human is two.

4. Randy Johnson, San Francisco Giants- Check out this combo, Randy pairs a nappy mullet with a trash-stash, making you wonder if he has any friends. There is no way any legitimate friend would let you out of the house looking like that. Lastly he’s 6’10, built like Mary Kate Olsen, and looks like big bird.

3. Kyle Orton, Denver Broncos- He hangs out with Lindsay Lohan, soooo either he’s bringing good drugs or she just feels bad that he looks like this.

2. Greg Oden, Portland Trail Blazers and Joakim Noah, Chicago Bulls- Toss up. What’s with million dollar athletes and huge gaps in their front teeth? You'd think instead of putting rims on their lawn mower, that they would invest in an invisaline or something. Oden is the same age as me and could easily pass as my father and Joakim Noah is just embarrassing.

1. Chris Kaman, L.A. Clipper's- He has seven strands of hair that all reach past his shoulder blades. Enough said.


Honorable Mention: Adam Morrison, Ronaldinho, Bartolo Colon

-Lake Dawson

Who wants some? . . . . Hall Trane Contra challenge

Its challenge time fools! I am willing to put up 250 dollars, that my High School point guard and fellow lady killer Justin Davenport can beat you in the game Contra for orginal Nintendo(NES). It will be a small entry fee of 10 dollars if you would like to try and challenge him. Rules are as follows: You will get 3 chances to record your best time from the moment the game starts til the second you beat the 8th level aka defeating the vile red falcon. Then after your 3 times have been recorded Justin will get only 1 chance to try and beat your best recorded time. If your up for the challenge of a lifetime then wrap up that controller and lets get nasty!

Comment below or email us if you want some (p.s. no anynomous comments)




Justin Davenport a.k.a. Doc Contra a.k.a. The Spread Keeper

Finders Keepers

Every few days I like to keep you on your toes with a little Nick Hall secret. Today, its the ole "finders keepers" bit. When you're shopping at a store and you really like something but you just know you're not going to purchase it right away or put it on lay-a-way like a soccer mom, here's what you can do.

Option 1: You take the item, whatever it may be and hide it behind something much larger than it. Shoot for something roughly double its size. This larger item will block yours from being seen by the naked eye and purchased by somebody else who's after the same thing. This little move scored me 7 Tickle Me Elmos in 2001.

Option 2: Take what you are going to buy and put it up really high. You may even have to throw it. How do I get it down Nick? good question playa. You can either locate a store stool somewhere near by or use a large object in the store to knock it off the rack with.

Option 3: (If DVD or Videogame) Take the one you want, and then hide it behind a crappy ass DVD such as Mama Mia. No one clearly will purchase the crappy DVD and then you're home free. (WARNING! - Does not work in San Francisco)

-Nick Hall

YouTube Tuesday

Just one of our many YUMMY traditions. Send us your funniest YouTube flicks to yummybro@gmail.com

Sent by: Jason Oomens

Throwback Thursday - 100% Butter

Starter Jackets are the business. If you attended Junior High, and had more than 1 friend, you owned a starter jacket. If you were a shot caller and big baller like me, then you had 2.

What team starter jacket did you have? (comment below)

-Nick Hall

My "new" post

I would like to have a word with the Munson who thought up the idea, that if you just add the word “new” and put it in front of something, that it just automatically makes it better. This guy has been scamming people since the mid 1600’s. New Zealand? Oh yea cause everyone had their bachelor party in old Zealand. All it takes is for you to sit down for 30-45 minutes and think up a creative name. I mean Thigh-master and The counting crows did it. Take Mexico for example, drug lords, huts made of clay, and enchiladas. I know how much fun that sounds, but wait until you visit New Mexico, thanks but no thanks. My sister had beanie babies cooler than New Mexico. A couple months back my buddy calls me up and says “Dude, just bought a new car, I’m coming to scoop you up in 5”. So I head down stairs only to be picked up in a 1993 Chevy Camaro. He had me at new, and then lost me at Camaro. This little ploy does work on occasion though, damn those New kids on the block. So unless you have 5 teen heart throbs singing “Hangin tough” please just think up a unique name for once.

- Nick Hall

Viewer Write-In (No. 2)

First and foremost, I’d like to thank the Yummy Bro staff for the opportunity to write a post for this great website. I have something very important I would like to discuss. If you’re a male and don't play World of Warcraft or watch X-Men on a daily basis, than you’re probably a sports nut like me. The most influential sports program of all time is of course ESPN’s Sportscenter, but I’m here to talk about the worst part of my day, as well as the worst part of Sportscenter. What I am talking about is ESPN Deportes.
When I hear “Hi, Im Michele LaFountain with your ESPN Deportes update!” My heart sinks like a 16 footer from Tiger Woods on Sunday. Not only is Michelle uglier than sin, but all they do in their god awful 90 second clip is talk in a Spanish accent about a sport no one in america even plays, which is soccer. Do I really care if Chelsea is down a mid-fielder for next week’s friendly match in London? No, The only Chelsea I have ever cared about is that smart girl in my comms class who gives me her notes. So what I recommend to you is, next time Deportes pops up for a quick clip that you mentally tune out the spanish highlights, or maybe even catch a quick 90 seconds of ESPN's First Take over on the Duece.

- Joe H.

Lake Dawsons - Jam you should download

Lil Wayne - Fix my hat

Nick Halls - Jam you should download

Kanye West - Paranoid

The 3rd string All-Star

Next time you're at a high school football game take a glance down the sideline and you will see a kid that kid, the kid who never steps foot on the field. Ever wonder what he did to not play, why he was out there, or if he'd ever get a chance to play? Well, unfortunately I have the answers to all of your questions about “the 3rd stringer” because it was me. First let me tell you why I call it “the 3rd stringer.”
In football practice, as you may know, the coach usually breaks the football team into groups. These groups are usually based on position specifics. Well in my case, I was the running back on the White Team, which happened to be behind the Blue team, who was behind the Gold team. Throughout the year I was under the impression that if the first and second string running backs in front of me were to get injured, that I would get my time to shine. Im talking about showing those fools that I was the next Mike Alstott. Long story short, I couldn't have been more wrong. The two jokers in front of me both got injured and instead of getting to play, the coach made his way down the sideline and asked our first string Safety to get ready to play both ways.
So although I barely played, and by barely I mean never, I was still a huge asset to the team. My best contribution was being an all-state tackling dummy, one the earth has never seen. I could actually move and juke a little bit, but that didn't slow down our huge linebackers from destroying my little behind. My biggest role on game days was intimidation. If one of their players got tackled out of bounds, I would just yell obscenities and act like I was cool, saying things like “Oh sit on it Doucher.” Don’t get me wrong though, I was a pretty bad ass 3rd stringer. I was friends with all first stringers, cheerleaders, and hot moms. I refused to carry the footballs out to the field and when I got my letterman jacket I didn't wear it for no reason in July like most other 3rd stringers did. Basically you could say I set the bar fuckin high as far as 3rd stringers go.

-Lake Dawson

Lake Dawsons - Pose of the month (Samurai Stare)

This months pose is to be used wisely. Chicks are like the sun, you can look for one second but never two, unless.... the little hottie happens to be looking in the other direction. Then well, you get all the time you want to check out that phat ass. Here Lake is showing us how to take full advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself. Also upon doing so, Lake is using perfect technique in what we here at Yummy Bro like to call the Samurai Stare. These stares can last anywhere from 2-15 seconds depending the broads overall awareness.

Appropriate places for the Samurai Stare
- Malls
- Beaches
- Dance Competitions
- SEC Schools


- Nick Hall