When you're a child its never ok to lie to your parents, unless you just didnt really feel like going to school that day then it was totally cool. Kids all across America try and pull off the "fake sick" look but only a few ever mastered it like I did. A lot more comes into play then just saying "Mom, I dont feel good". For instance, when my mom would go get the thermometer from the downstairs medicine cabinet, I'd quick do 25 jumping jacks to look sweaty and raise my body temp. Youre probably thinking, "Oh my god Nick your a genius" I know fools, I know.
You need to pick and choose your battles too, you cant be faking sick every Thursday, unless your mom has Downs and barely even knows who you are, doing it twice a year should be sufficient. I usually aimed for days I had a paper or project due, That way I got an extra 24 hours to get that shiz finished.
My favorite part of faking sick, was when my mom would run some errands. Then I could finally get out of bed and play some vids (videogames for you non cool people) and I would go raid the fridge like Rosie O'donell for some serious pigging out, because when I was sick all my mom would give me was Saltine crackers and Ginger Ale.
The worst 2 parts about faking sick; well first off not a single f'n thing was ever on TV, I always found myself watching Montell Williams interview a 14 year old hooker. The second worst part about the day you faked sick was something unbelievably cool ALWAYS happened that day at school and you werent there to see it. I guess thats the price you pay though when youre awesome at faking sick.
-Nick Hall
I personally never understood why they call it a "Piggy back ride", I've never seen Pigs double up on each other when one of em gets too tired to walk. Regardless, that didnt stop Johnnie boy from saddlin up for that free ride across the street. Yummy Bro usually doesn't encourage male on male piggy backing, but since John is one of the coolest dudes on the planet and threw up a hang-ten sign with his left hand, we are willing to let it slide. . . but just this one time.
When you're a child its never ok to lie to your parents, unless you just didnt really feel like going to school that day then it was totally cool. Kids all across America try and pull off the "fake sick" look but only a few ever mastered it like I did. A lot more comes into play then just saying "Mom, I dont feel good". For instance, when my mom would go get the thermometer from the downstairs medicine cabinet, I'd quick do 25 jumping jacks to look sweaty and raise my body temp. Youre probably thinking, "Oh my god Nick your a genius" I know fools, I know.
If you're at someone elses place and you need to use the microwave, Its a fact that for the first 45 seconds you just stare at the buttons, because your lost on which one will get the fricken thing started. No matter how kitchen savvy you are its impossible to figure out how to turn it on properly right away. Meanwhile your hotpocket is just sitting in there because you had to hit cancel 7 times cause you keep accidently pushing the defrost button.
"Safety first" is always my motto. Well I take that back, its actually style first then safety is a close second. To be honest, there is only one sure fire way to carry a Foosball table when you rock a 1989 Buick Century and no one, and I mean no one does it better than my man Rick Weber.
Take a seat cause schools back in suckas! To me the coolest thing on this entire planet is the Coliseum of Rome. It was built about 2,000 years ago in 80AD and could fit up to 50,000 spectators. I would of been so worthless back then its not even funny, I mean its July of 2009 and I can barely put together a coffee table from IKEA. 
