Big Gulp Update

Here you have the Nelson Brothers fresh out of Spring Texas showing you that the south will rise again. My favorite part about this picture is they are standing in front of maybe the biggest fountain drink dispenser I have ever seen. It appears there is roughly 37 different sizes of cups and you boys managed to go pick out the fourty four ouncers. Some say that skill is learned at an early age but personally I think you're just born with talent like that. Good work men, that shiz is yummy bro.

Send us in your Big Gulp Pictures to yummybro@gmail.com

How to properly call Shotgun

A lot of people say you have to be outside to call Shotgun. Thats just retarded if you ask me. Each driver can lay down their own rules and regulations. I think the United Nations should get together so we can settle this once and for all. Make the entire world strictly abide by these rules.

- Once the consensus of the entire group knows they are departing and heading for the car, just then may a rider call for shotgun. Driver is always the judge if the shotgun calls are close.
- If there is a tie for shotgun, You go straight into a Best-of-3 Rock Paper Scissors showdown. If you duel with DJ Nasty be careful he goes paper first, its a ballsy move but damn does it pays huge dividends.
- Left nut and right nut are the seats behind the driver and shotgun, these can be called too, that is if you're rolling 5 deep and dont wanna sit in the middle. But if you're rolling 5 deep then you're either a bunch of cheap bastards or you work for a landscaping company.
- If no one calls shotgun and the guy or girl just goes and sits in the seat, shotgun calling is then nullified, its now theirs for the remainder of that trip.
- Also someone has to hear you call it. None of this I called it non-sense where you look around pointing and acting like someone else heard you. I pulled this stunt in the winter of '03, haven't had a good nights sleep since.
- If some fool tries to be funny by prematurely calling shotgun, I automatically make them sit in the back seat, and sometimes I make them sit in the the way back of my SUV with all my baseball gloves and crap, let him know the Hall Trane dont play games kid.

- Nick Hall

Fun Fact Fridays, By Nick Hall

What does it really mean when someone calls "Shotgun" in a car?

The term Shotgun was derived from the old western days. When a bank would transport its money by stagecoach they would use two people to deliver it. One being the driver, controlling the horses and the other was a man holding a shotgun sitting next to the driver to protect the banks money inside the stagecoach.

Example - "Dude I called shotgun, dont even think about touchin that front seat!"

Throwback Thursday - WWF

Its throwback time, today its old school WWF Professional wrestling. Nothing was more manly then watching a Royal Rumble at your friends house because his dad bought it on Pay-Per-View. Then as soon as it ended, you and your buddies would move out the furniture in the family room and have a tag team match. I always jumped from some higher up area and yelled "From the turnbuckle!" The worst part about the WWF, I didnt find out it was fake until like three years ago. I just thought hitting people with chairs wasnt a crime anymore.

If you're a female reader and weren't part of the phenomenon that was the world wrestling federation then I apologize for you not being able to relate, and if you're a guy who didnt watch wrestling back in the day then I suggest you go to the nearest man store and turn your dong in, cause we dont want you in our gender anymore.

There were so many awesome characters, I dont even know where to begin. If I forget your favorite guys, comment below and talk about that dude and what made him so nasty.

Ultimate Warrior - Dude was built like a buick, had streamers tied around his arms that looked like the handlebars on some little girls bike, and had the hair of a rockstar. No homo, but I loved this man, I mailed him an invitation to my birthday party for 9 straight years. Im still waiting on the R.S.V.P.

Million Dollar Man, Ted DeBiase - Any dude that wears black suits with money signs all over it is clearly ok in my book. I liked this guy but hated his sidekick virgil, huge dork. Dibiase was sort of like the villian of the WWF because he was the wealthiest, I think his dad made a lot of money in the oil and gas industry during the late 70's. (not quite sure what I am talking about)

Macho Man Randy Savage - This guy was the sweetest person during an interview ever with his "ohhhhhh yeeeaasss". He lost a lot of street cred with his slim jim commercials, but when a mans gotta pay the bills you can only dock him so many points. Also The Macho Man was never not seen wearing a neon color, Dude was a walking rainbow with a voice like the marlboro man. whats not to love. (sidenote) No relation to Fred Savage from "The Wonder Years"

I could probably go one forever but here are some other sick dudes from the ol' school - Jake the snake Roberts who had a live snake and would let it out of the bag, Big Bossman with his nightstick, Andre the giant with his 9 foot tall un-cordinated ass, and Hulk Hogan - nuff said

Who was your favorite? (comment below)

Throwback Jam

Chumbawamba - Tubthumping (I get knocked down, but I get up again)

Link to (Music Video)

Nick Halls Jam you should download

This song is flat out buck wild, Sent in by: Lake Dawson

Horoscopes TYB Style

New little segment on T.Y.B. where I fill in a few peoples future with a look into the magical Crystal Ball I bought at a garage sale.

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Today you will find the true meaning of friendship, someone close to you will lend you an extra dollar or two while you're in line at the 7-11 for a big gulp and you start to do the "pat your own body" move realizing you left your wallet at home. Lucky numbers are 7, 11

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): You will have to make a great decision today and probably blow it by over thinking. When you come to this fork in the road I want you to count to 10 and then go in the direction that costs more money. I say this because money is a lot like girls. . . . I take that back, girls are only cool once a week and money is buck wild all the time, if you're a Taurus just do whatever the hell you want cause your a Bull/type of car made by ford. Lucky numbers 3, 41, 659

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You are an American Gladiator

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): People usually come to you for answers because you are good at giving helpful advice, but tend to suck at making your own life better. Stop living in your parents basement and eating zebra cakes(which rule by the way), and go do something. My suggestion is; sell everything you own on Craigslist and move to L.A. and try and become an actor, no one ever does that.

- Nick Hall

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Brad Medchill

This weeks award for T.Y.B. Fan of the week goes out to Mister Debit card man himself . . . . . . Brad Medchill

Hometown: The Woodlands, TX

College: University of Iowa

Hobbies - 75 dollar haircuts, climbing trees, and subathing in just his cowboy boots

Fun Fact - Owns 2 Texas High School wrestling records, One for most pins in a season, and the other for longest match delayed due to taking a dump (47 minutes).

Why he won - Brad is a good buddy who sent the facebook fan page to over 100 of his friends asking them to join. He also checks the site everyday and gives his feedback with comments and text messages.

Joke of the day!

Whats the best part about dating a homeless girl?

Click comment for answer

YouTube Tuesday

This video is pretty good. They just mopped the floor so you can slide really good on it. The dude can actually dance pretty good too, but when he starts to lose his footing while yelling it turns pretty comical. This a video you should watch a few times. If you have any funny videos send them to YummyBro@gmail.com



Sent in by: Chris Berens

YouTube Tuesday

You never want to double cross a guy who has 10 billion dollars in the bank but still rocks a 6 dollar haircut. This video makes me want to hangout with Donald Trump on the reg, a little bit because his suits are worth more than Arkansas, a lotta bit because he hates Rosie O'Donnell with passion.


Sent in by: The Dust Buster

iPhone Apps?

Most people now-a-days are using the iPhone, and if youre not then I suggest you stop living on Neptune and get with the program. I figure TYB could be a nice little format to spread the wealth of cool Apps you can download on your iphone. If you have some baller Apps, tell others so we can all be ballin' outta control.

Post apps you use on the Reg below in the comment box

Big Gulp Award

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes to McDonalds, but not the restaurant, it goes to their breakfast menu. I go with the southern style chicken biscuit. This place has it all, it's got hash browns to die for. Not to mention it invented the pancake bun on the mcgriddle with syrup nuggets built inside, thats just pure genius if you ask me.

Coming Soon!!!

Yummy Bro will be posted shortly, Comcast will be here to fix the Internet. Thank you for your patience.

- Mr. Big Gulp

Big Gulp Update

Here you have 3 former NIU Baseball Players with more than just baseball in common, they've all found true love. Not with women, because personally I think the kid in the middle likes the dong, but in the search for a drink that will never let you down. Matt, Mark, and Mike all moved a point up in my book today, I dont really have a book, because I havent read one since "To kill a mockingbird" Sophomore year of High School. Thats not important, Today you boys made Northern Illinois University very proud.

Thanks W!

Im talking about some place warm, a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like salmon of Capistrano. Im talking about a little place called. . . . Wikipedia.

Whether you're in High School, College, or are just trying to win a five dollar bet with a buddy. No site or place on earth can give you the answer easier and faster than Wikipedia. Without this website me and half of my friends would have never graduated college and probably be giving handjobs underneath a bridge somewhere for singles.

Every once in awhile you hear the HATER ALERT from some loser, its always them saying "You can't trust that website because anyone can post on it". Those haters are usually just jealous that you got a better grade on your paper or it proved whatever nonsense they were just talking about wrong. I trust wikipedia more than I trust my grandmother, so when someone bashes it, its like they're bashing me personally. Im not a fighter, but what I will do is call up some buddies and egg their house that week with Large Grade-A eggs from Wal-Mart.

Im gonna end by saying this, if for some reason we were to lose wikipedia forever, I think everyone in America should have to fly their flags at half mast.

- Nick Hall

Fun Facts, By Nick Hall

What does "close but no cigar" mean?

Back in the early 1900's at carnivals around the United States a common prize for winning a game was to hand out a cigar. So when a contestant would come close to winning but fell just short, the carnival worker would say "Sorry sir, close but no cigar"

Ex. Losing a tiebreaking game 3 of Rock-Paper-Scissors

Heads up Seven up

Its Thursday so you know its time to turn back the clock to our childhood and today its the game Heads up Seven up. Playing this game was the highlight of elementary school. I remember I would get so excited to play this game that I would take out my huge rectangular rubber eraser and throw it at the closest nerd.

Here's how you play. The teacher would pick her 7 favorite students. I was always one of them because I was a third grader that was hung like Wilt Chamberlain. Then everyone still at a desk had to put their head down, close their eyes, and raise a thumb. Then the seven people would walk around class and push one persons thumb down. Then the people who's thumbs got touched had to try and guess who did it.

The cheat. Everyone knew it and everyone used it. While having your head down on the desk you would keep you eyes open and stare at the people shoes. This move was butter, unless you went to a private school where everyone had the same shoes. If you weren't cheatin you weren't tryin.

Plan A) Whenever I was one of the seven people walking around, I always picked the hottest girl in class. Usually some honeydip rocking a neon orange scrunchie. Then I would touch her thumb for about 3 seconds too long. Just enough to let her know I was available and ready to party.

Plan B) If their were no hot girls in your class or if you just liked being "it" then you would go and put the thumb down of the kid you talked to least in the class. For me it would of been the kid who's every T-shirt was a comic book superhero. The only time I ever spoke to him was asking for cuts in the lunchline or if he had an extra pencil in his gay Spacemaker pencil box. (photo) Theres no way he could guess you touched his thumb, and if somehow he does guess you, then he clearly saw your shoes.

If this game was still acceptable to play at 25, I would have Heads up Seven up Tourneys at my apartment every week.

Throwback Jam

Lil' Troy - Wanna be a Baller

((Link to Music Video))

Tipping your server

How do you know how much to tip your waitress/waitress? This comes into play a lot if you eat out as much as the big dog does. I start my tip at 20%, and let it fluctuate up or down from there. You need to use several categories in order to give a proper tip.

Appearance - If they are dressed to impress and look ready to seize the day, I will take notice when the bill comes. But if my server has their shirt untucked looking like they just crawled out from under a rock it could dock them some serious points.

Refill ability - I drink pop the way god intended us to drink it, which is fast and often. If you get that junior varsity waitress who refills your drink every 45 minutes, it can and will ruin your day. Occasionally you get those All-star servers who bring you 2 pops at once, thats the kind of stunt that can get you promoted to manager by the weekend.

Personality - If my server has the people skills of my right foot its gonna cost em. On the other hand if my waiter or waitress happens to be funny or really likes my jokes, then they just earned themselves an extra dollar, or what I like to call a free Big Gulp.

Check-Up - How many times they ask how my meal is? - Once is ok, Twice just let me eat my food, and three times is when I get the restraining order.

These useful tips should help guide you on your way to a stress free tip when it comes time for the bill.

-Nick Hall

Nick Hall Comic

(Click picture to enlarge)

T.Y.B. Fan of the week

The award for T.Y.B. Fan of the week goes out to none other than the finest sales rep Althoff Industries has ever known . . . . . . Jeff Miller

Hometown: Crystal Lake, IL

Height - 6'2'' Weight - 187 lbs

Hobbies - Rubbin one out, Freeze tag, & turning old jeans into shorts.

Fun Fact - Married his cousin on a whim in Vegas, but got the marriage annulled the next week because she wouldn't put out.

Why he won - Jeff is a high school buddy who talks about TYB on a daily basis. He has been spreading TYB to many of his friends, and has shown his passion for Yummy Bro through many emails and high fives.

YouTube Tuesday

Scarlet takes a tumble. You can call me mean but nothing is funnier then when fat people not only fall but try and roll around to get up. This chick is trying to be on American Idol and ends up in a neckbrace. You could drop me from a 3 story building and I still wouldnt havent hit the ground this hard.

Sent in By: Gabe Tippy

YouTube Tuesday

Here is a four minute clip from a surveillance camera of a man who is literally the drunkest I have ever seen anyone. He looks exactly like I would if you blindfolded me and a 12 pack of beer weighed 245 pounds. This video gets better every second you watch it. You may find yourself yelling "Just get up" at the computer screen.

Sent in by: Jim Lohmann

Joke of the day!

What do you call a dead blonde girl in a closet?

Click "comment" below for the answer

Mailbag with Doctor Hall

If anyone ever has a question about life, sports, love, food, school or whatever, you can email it to Yummybro@gmail.com and Doctor Hall will answer it with style, class, and honor. Just like the marines.

"Why do people use the phrase "lol" and other text langauge so much these days? It makes me mad" - Amanda N.

Great question, I know where you are coming from. I guess people in this day and age feel the need for speed rather than thoroughness with their spelling and grammar. I have a double major in English and Karate so its tough for me as well. I think it's alright to use these types of texting shortcuts on occasion. However there are times where its just flat out not cool. For example, last night my 86 year old grandma texted me "What up Dog, my BFF is picking me up from Bingo, I will c u l8r". I wasn't sure whether to text back or call the police on that trick.

If you find yourself in a tough text predicament again, a wise man once told me; stay calm, be aware of your surroundings, annnnnd damn it, I cant remember the rest.

Big Gulp Award

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes to the San Diego Padres . . . nuff said

Photo of the day - The Marathon

Here you have my boy Tom Fluegge running in the Chicago Marathon. This is pretty impressive he has enough energy to get pumped up for the camera. If this picture was of me running 26 miles I would be sweating like Patrick Ewing in the 4th quarter, with my head down, and huffing like the big bad werewolf. Congrats to Tom and too keeping an upbeat outlook on life. Learn from this folks, learn from this. Remember whats hot in October is the glass being half full.

-Nick Hall

Great video

Here is a classic video about the proper way to play NAIA Baseball. Its a little windy in some parts and hard to hear but if your a baseball fan then this video is classic. The bunting part is real real good. This video was sent in by Paul Goldschmidt.

Top 3 - Board games

I am a HUGE fan of having board game night, there is nothing better than a little competition, mixed with humor, and some good old fashioned fun. Here is the top 3 Board games currently in the U.S. (not available in Saudi Arabia)

3. - Pictionary, I was voted best drawer/guesser in McHenry County, IL. It's a very prestigious award, that is only given out every 7 years, I have three of them.

2. - Taboo, whenever you combine quick wits with a teammate, its usually a good combination. Kind of like Ice cream and oreo crumbs. Not sure who invented that combo but I wanna hangout with that dude. Nonetheless this game should change its name to Bananas, cause thats how awesome it is.

1. - Scattergories, rollin a 20 sided dice with letters on it, coming up with unique ideas, getting to vote on other peoples answers. Be careful though if you play this game with my sister or cousin Ann, either one will stab you with their pen if you don't agree with them. All in all you cant beat this game with a stick, I tried once and I ruined my stick.

- Nick Hall

Fun Facts, By Nick Hall

what does "Im on cloud 9" really mean?

The expression 'up on cloud nine' is to describe a feeling of complete happiness. It is based on actual terminology used by the Weather Bureau. Clouds are divided into nine seperate classes. 'Cloud nine' is the highest possibly type of cloud. Therefore if you are on it, youre as high as any cloud can be and your a baller, cause only ballers ride on clouds.

Ex. - MJ hitting that jumpshot over Bryon Russell in '98

Throwback Thursday - Above Ground Pools

Its throwback Thursday, so we're bringing you another blast from the past. This week it's above ground pools (AGP). There is 3 types of pools; in-ground, above ground, and kiddie. To sum it up, if Goldilocks came up to an in-ground pool she would say "This pool is way to big and deep" and she would go over to the kiddie pool and say "This pool is way to small and shallow" and lastly she would see the above ground pool and say "Oh Dang, this is my jam right here".

Growing up I never had a pool, but luckily my best bud john had a sick AGP. Some people didn't appreciate the above ground ones as much cause there was no deep end, slide, or diving board. I didn't care though, I'm 25 and still dive like Im paralyzed from the waist down. AGP's were great if you wanted to strike up a serious water volleyball game or shoot some hoops from anywhere in the pool and not have to worry about treading water or hanging onto the rail. Treading water is the worst. Heres a fun fact, I still hold the AGP record for most diving stick points accumulated without coming up for air, just kidding, but seriously I had 12,700 points.

Don't even get me started on making whirlpools. For all you losers out there who aren't sure what i mean, its where you and your friends would all run in the same direction around the pool to build up the current. Then once you've spent 15 minutes getting dizzy and creating a whirlpool effect you'd turn around and run in the opposite direction and try to fight through it like a bad ass salmon goin upstream to lay some eggs. Only theres no stream, eggs, or salmon.

If you knew what was really good when you were little then you always had these two vital poolside things at your disposal. 1) Fun-noodles, You can float on em, fight with em, or use them as the worlds biggest straw and blow water out of them. Some kids would bite into them, and then I would kick them out of the pool and my circle of friends. 2) Goggles, If you didn't have a pair of these when the honeydips came over then you just were not a very cool kid. I spent half my junior year underwater looking at butts in bikinis with my goggles on. It was like soft core underwater HD porn.


- Nick Hall

Throwback Jam

OMC - How Bizarre

The song topped the charts and was a jam everyone loved

(Music Video Link)

The Worst

I have seen quite a few crappy things in my day but nothing comes close or even compares to womans basketball. I dont care if its junior high or the WNBA I cant watch more than a minute or two without wanting to put my head in the oven.

On a more serious note, these girls to my right are a perfect example of why womans hoops blows. Theyre each jumping for a rebound and I use jumping lightly, because these hoes havent even left the ground. Girls basketball can be summed up in two syllables. . . Lay-ups. The only thing more boring than a Layup is having to watch a girl with broad shoulders do it.

I would bet money the final score of this game in the picture to my right was 5-2 with the green team who is wearing one high sock and one low sock having a big 4 point rally late in the second half to seal up the victory. I can't imagine there were more than seven people in attendance for that game, and thats counting the two referees.

Women I love ya, I really do, but you should try and stick to Soccer, Tennis, Volleyball, and cooking me dinner, just kidding, but seriously I like my chicken parmesean lightly browned.

Some girls might call me a male chauvinist or a macho pig(if your jesse spano from saved by the bell), but I really dont care. Girls hoops is the reason we dropped 2 atom bombs on Japan, rumor had it there was a girls high school basketball convention in Hiroshima on August 6th in 1945 and Truman just couldnt take it anymore.

(side note)- I played basketball in high school, but if I were to play in the WNBA tomorrow I would be the greatest girl basketball player to have ever lived.

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Cale Newlin

The award for T.Y.B. Fan of the week goes out to none other than Southern Illinois' own . . . . . . Cale Newlin

Hometown: West Frankfort, IL

Height - 6'0'' Weight - 194 lbs

Hobbies - Burning ants, Army crawling to and from work, & Tipping over kids in wheelchairs

Fun Fact - Converted to a Jew just for the 9th grade so he could skip school for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and the 8 days of Hanukah

Why he won - Cale is a friend of a friend who comments on TYB daily, spread TYB to his friends, and has shown his passion for Yummy Bro with texts like "Its the only thing that gets me through work" and "without TYB I would actually have to talk to my wife"

YouTube Tuesday

This video is an oldie but a goodie. Caitlin Upton is answering a question for the Miss Teen USA Pageant and she absolutely butchers it. I havent seen a person answer a question this bad since my buddies dad caught him drinking and asked a drunken 16 yr old John Allen who bought him the beer. Took him roughly 45 seconds to answer with "Calvin Brodus" (John and I had just watched VH1 on Snoop Dogg learning his real name was Calvin Brodus only a few hours before john had started drinking)

Video sent in by: Brad Valentino

YouTube Tuesday

This video was created by Yummy Bro Super Fan Matt "Vertical Jones" Lythberg. My homeboy Kyle Drabek was almost traded to the Blue Jays for pitcher Roy Halladay, but the Phillies refused to let go of their top prospect. Hitler is apparently a huge Drabek and Phillies fan.

Photo of the day

This photo was taken by me during a Sunday night football game between Arizona and Indianapolis. I believe it was right after the Colts got a first down to pretty much seal up the victory. I dont even know where to begin with this. First off, if that was my dad, I would have spent the entire game in the bathroom eating my feelings with nachos and to make sure no one knew we were related. What was this munson doing? My guess is he probably came to the game hoping all 53 players tore their ACL and the coach would look to the upper deck for some extra help on defense. I wouldnt even wear that stuff out trick or treating let alone to a nationally televised NFL game.

Things wrong with this picture:
1. Watched an entire game wearing an actual football helmet (thats autographed too)
2. He taped his name across the front, so in case he gets called in, the coach will yell Cortez instead of "Hey retard with full equipment and a helmet on get down here."
3. He has a mouthpiece attached to his facemask
4. Hes wearing real shoulder pads underneath his uniform
5. He has a son, meaning some woman actually slept with this man.

Nick Halls Jam you should download

Black eyed peas - Meet me halfway

This song is about breaking up I think, Im not really sure cause I dont listen to the words, just that phat ass beat. You can bump this shiz in your car or in the shower, either way it still does the trick.

((Link to the music video))

Big Gulp Award

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes out to Trinity College Athletics. These dudes are not only bad ass at sports and know how to attack a midterm, but they dig yummy bro. The LaCrosse will probably win 4 straight national championships now that theyve got Reichert in uniform. I'm not a student there, actually I've never even been to Trinity College, but I did live in Connecticut when I was 10, so I know whats really good.

Joke of the day

This man is sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office when the doctor enters. He says "I have bad news, Im really sorry but the tests show you have Cancer and Alshiemers disease. The man shakes and heads and takes a deep breathe and says "well thank god I dont have cancer"

Big Gulp Pics

Here we have my man Rick Weber with a standard 64 ounce Double Big Gulp. He's got great technique and you can tell this picture is taken from a webcam, which can only mean he was webcaming with a hoe and drinking a BG at the same time which is the first sign you've reached baller status. The picture is a little blurry but the message you're sending to the kids isnt. Stay in school and drink lots of pop, amen.

Nick Hall Olympics

I'm not the fastest man in the world, nor have I ever been on a track team and ran the hurdles. You probably wouldnt belive me if you ever got the chance to witness me escape from a garage when the door is closing. I'll take you through it step by step.

Step 1: I touch the little red lighted garage door button on the wall with my pointer finger. sometimes my ring finger if I wanna get ballsy.

Step 2: I take off towards the closing garage door dodging small oil spills like a gazelle or shimmying my through the cars trying not to hit their rear view mirrors.

step 3: Notice the lasered safety gadget at the bottom, if you arent able to clear this you're going to have to repeat steps 1 and 2. I treat this laser like a real one, if you hit it, you die.

Step 4: With the garage door already half closed and the laser 10 inches off the ground, I make a leap for it. Head down, elbows tucked in, right foot striaght out, left leg raised.

Step 5: The landing, sometimes I dont always stick the landing because apparently physics say its impossible for that much force to be stopped so quickly. Like most things, I usually defy the odds, but occasionaly when I cant stick the landing I end it with a barrel roll and a back handspring. Not for me, for my friends waiting in the car in the driveway who are picking me up.

Finally, Dont think this is easy. Once you've hit that button you only have about a good 8 seconds to make a clean escape.

- Nick Hall

Awesome Link

Here is Top 10 Pee-Wee Football hits. ((Click Link))

Supertremendous.com Sent in by: Chris

Throwback Thursday - AOL

Its Thursday so TYB is turning back the clock to our childhood, this time its AOL instant messaging. Three children with three screen names, on one computer and some dial-up internet always made for a hostile environment in my house. If you wouldn't let a sibling hop on the computer or you happened to go over your time limit someone was bound to lose an eye.

If youre a youngster and never experienced the awfulness that was dial-up internet, I'll fill you in real quick. It took roughly 25-30 seconds for each page to load. If someone called the house phone it immediately booted you off line, and if you saw my yearbook back then, then you know the hoes were clogging up my phone line on the reg. Also it took about 2-3 minutes for it to connect to the internet. While connecting it would make this piercing noise. It sounded like a fax machine, alarm clock, and a baby crying all in one. Sometimes my speakers were accidently turned up during the connecting and it was so loud that I would instantly crap my pants.

Once you were logged on, you went straight to the instant messenger and opened up that buddy list. If you were a tool, then you left the default categories of Buddies, Family, and Co-workers on the buddy list menu. But if you were a shot caller like me you renamed the 3 catergories to "Ruff Ryders" for your good friends, "G-string Divas" for the girls in your school, and "Below Average" for all the dorks.

As a kid, my classmates and I would spend countless hours on instant messenger. Whether we were chatting it up about sports, talking to girls, or we were acting like we were 18 and ready to mingle in some weird fruity ass chatroom, AOL always gave you something to do at night when you didnt have a drivers license or the spice channel.

-Nick Hall

Rep your screen name!!!!

Everyone had a Screen name back in the day. Whether it was cool or stupid please click "comment" below and tell TYB what yours was. I was living large back then so I had to rock 2 screen names.

Mailbag with Doctor Hall

If anyone ever has a question about life, sports, love, food, school, or whatever, you can email it to Yummybro@gmail.com and Doctor Hall will answer it with style, class, annnnnnd style.

"Doctor Hall, I have this friend named "The Rick" who plays slow pitch softball with me, He is always talking about how good he was at sports and can never let go of the past. He's annoying, what can I do?" - John F. (Atlanta, GA)

Thats a touchy subject John, Everyone likes to relive their past a time or two, but if this butt plug is talking about diving catches he made when he was 14 you need to give him a reality check. There is two ways you can do that. 1) T.P. his house, nothing says come back to earth queer like a good toilet papering of their trees. 2) Keep one-upping his stories. For example if he tells you he drank 16 beers one night, tell him you own a mountain bike. He will look at you all confused and when he does say "oh sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter!" and boom, no more brutal stories.

- Doc Hall

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Drew Hall

Todays Thats Yummy Bro's fan of the week award is given to none other than . . . . . my brother Drew Hall, He lives in Seattle, rocks suits, and makes way more money than me.

Hometown - Crystal Lake, IL

Hobbies - Snowball fights, 10 piece puzzles, and eHarmony

Fun Fact - Andrew was a yellow belt in Karate. I wish I was joking, but my mom has the outfit and belt at home.

Why he won: No he didn't win this award because he is my brother or cause I wore his hand-me-downs (minus the karate suit) when we were little. He has been a fan since day 1, bought a T-Shirt, and made comments on nearly 50 percent of my posts. Well done Drewski, you earned it.

If you have any good Youtube videos, and want your name on the website for baller status, send them in to us at Yummybro@gmail.com

YouTube Tuesday

I can not believe the people from shake weight didn't see anything wrong with this advertisement. Its darn near soft core porn. Sure its a good way to stay in shape, but so is wrestling your sister. Im not gonna go make a video of that and sell it for an extra buck. Holy crap, that might actually work. COMING SOON! "8 Minute Sister Wrestling Workout".


Sent in by - Mike Cash

YouTube Tuesday

This kid is dynamite, its a good video all the way through but the first 10 seconds is priceless. I have used a few of these moves before and lets just say I got more numbers then a serial code. Hes the only 4 year old who Ive ever seen look jacked. If I saw this kid in an alley I would throw my wallet at him and run the other way.


Sent in by: Emilie Valentino

October - Whats Hot and Whats Not

Its getting cold outside in Chicago, so that can only mean one thing . . . its October. I dont want you to be the only person at the party to not know whats hot and whats not this month, so grab a seat cause schools in session.

*WHATS HOT*

North face coats - I have three of these babies and I still want a few more. They keep you warm and are very nice looking. It kinda reminds me of this girl I met at summer camp, only she was butt ulgy, never kept me warm, and ate her crayons.

Ranch sauce - Its delicious on wings, fries, salad, you name it. You can put this shiz on almost anything. Just last week I put it on my car door and within seconds the squeeking was gone.

Glass being half full - No one likes a downer, even worse is when you ask someone how they're are doing and you get a reply of "doing ok". Spice it up this month and say "how am I doing? Im awesome" Then pull out your phone and pretend like someone just texted you.

*WHATS NOT*

Leaving voicemails - Look we saw you called, odds are good we didnt pick up on purpose. If youre not dying or in jail just hang up after 5 rings.

Arabs - nuff said

Wearing your seatbelt - They're just not very comfortable and it costs me 3-4 inches on my reach at the Sonic window. Back in the 1950's they didnt even have seatbelts in cars, so if FDR didnt wear one why should I?

- Nick Hall

Big Gulp Award

This weeks big gulp award goes to Gas Prices. Im a big fan of always glancing at the Gas Stations to see what the price is. I saw a year low $2.35 at Exxon this morning. We all remember last year and 2007 when gas prices were up near four dollars. We all used to find ways to make other people drive. "yea if you could just pick me up that'd be way better for me, I dont like driving at dusk, thanks"

Actual Quote

"I learned the other day that if a guy is going number 2, and he has to pee, then he just goes sitting down"

-Rachel R, (age 25)

Mornings with Morden

These days it seems like somebody is always celebrating something. Whether it's a birthday, a baby, or a wedding announcement it's your duty as a friend to send your salutations. Staying on top of these things is a lot like playing with your dog, it doesn't require a lot of effort, but if you start ignoring this stuff and your friends, much like your dog, it will grow distant and take poops on your carpet. Whoever said "it's the thought that counts" is a liar, I've got the rundown on how and how much you should do for the people in your life.

1. Facebook Post - Every time you log in your friend's birthdays are right there.....easy as pie. This is great way to give your best to people you knew from school or girls you made out with in the last 6 months.

2. Text message - this one is a little more difficult and personal because you have to actually have the person's number. This is rare cause I have some friends that get new cell numbers every time they buy milk.

3. Phone Call - Old school and has the potential of sucking you into a conversation about "what you're doing these days and where you work". I only recommend this if you have a friend that's afraid of "big brother" or that lives in Zimbabwe

4. Hallmark Card - Only two ways this flies: Money and relatives. I'm 25 and I still expect money to be inside of any colored Hallmark envelope. If you don't celebrate Christmas with this person see methods 1, 2, or 3.

- Kyle Morden (click picture to enlarge)

Big Gulp Update

This is the first ever Big Gulp Picture sent in by someone of the female gender, but I have a feeling it certainly wont be the last. In order (from left to right) Jane Doe, Jessica, Jane Doe, and Jessica. These 4 tricks are role models for every little girl out there who's ever wanted to drink her dinner with 64 ounces of liquid gold. You cant see me right now ladies, but I am standing up and saluting you for a job well done.


T.Y.B will post any pictures of you holding up Big Gulps, just send em to yummybro@gmail.com

Big Gulp Update

Its official, Yummy Bro has gone international. Foster Davis took this pic from Tapei China or Taiwan, either way they're not tall enough to ride rollercoasters. Thats not important though, The Big Gulp love is almost global now. Foster said he tried to get a Big Gulp picture at the store, but when he pulled out the camera, the clerk thought it was a gun and he tae kwon do'd his ass spilling his drink and breaking his camera. I made that last part up, but its just a reminder, never let your drink spill.

Pose of the month - The Goggles

Octobers pose of the month is what I like to call "The Goggles". Its probably the least practical of all the Yummy bro poses, but its really dynamite when you sit back and start to think about it. In this photo Chris shows us perfect form; He's got the elbows up, hands turned over, and tongue sticking out. This about as close as you can come to being human and look like a super hero. I did the goggle pose at my last job interview when asked if I had any special talents that would be a valuable asset to the company. Long story short, I now own that company.



This pose is perfect for:

- Ruining pictures in the background
- Making people feel uneasy in the car next to you at a stoplight
- In case you forgot your Chemistry safety goggles at home
- If its bright out

Joke of the day

So this guy walks into a bar with his dog, the bouncer stops him and says "Whoa whoa whoa, sorry sir, no dogs!" The man replies with "Its ok, this is my seeing eye dog, I am blind" the bouncer nods and lets the the man in. About 10 minutes later another man enters the bar with a dog. The bouncer stops him and says "Whoa whoa whoa, no dogs allowed!" The man says "Its no problem, this is my seeing eye dog, I am blind." The bouncer goes "real funny, a Chihuahua is your seeing eye dog?" The blind man replies "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

Throwback Thursday - The Cafeteria

Its Thursday so T.Y.B.. is turning back the clock to your childhood, and today its all about the Cafeteria. From Elementary through High School the lunch room always had a wide variety of people. Deans list dorks, Emo kids, foreign exchangers, hot girls and a few others. If anyone visited the hot girls table it was mandatory they sat in their chair AC Slater style. It just let them know you were ready to party.

My table was the similar to the he-man woman haters, the only girl who ever sat at my table before the age of 20 was my mom and sister at dinner. I was in no mood to hear about Scrunchies, 3-way calling, or their first bra when I was trying to mentally prepare myself for kickball at recess.

The best part about the cafeteria was the lunch line. Not sure why, but I always got there early and a good spot in line. A few minutes later my stragler friends would roll in and ask for cuts. Nothing and I mean nothing came between me and rectangular pizza day. So I did what any baller would do . . give them backcuts. In case youre a loser and dont know what that is, its when you tell a kid he can cut in line, but you make him go behind you. I backcutted people on the reg. I only gave 4 real cuts in school, and all four were to this broad named Stephanie Weaver, she was a smoking hot and had light up LA Gear shoes. The girl was no joke.

Some people hated cafeteria food, but not me. I loved it all, from the tiny chocolate milk cartons to the 4 day old mozzarella sticks. I dont think I was the only one who loved lunchroom food either. I remember this one girl who got caught stealing a burger from cafeteria. For about the next 3 months everyone called her the hamburglar and then she transfered schools, but my point is, if a broad is stealing burgers they gotta be legit.

- Nick Hall

Throwback Jam

Quad City DJ's - C'mon Ride the train (requested by David Rockett)