Throwback Thursday - Sweet Toys

Its that time of the week again, where we bust out a little thing called Throwback Thursday. Instead of dedicating this week to one thing I decided to name a few of the sweet ass toys we all had as kids and if you didnt have them you would just spend countless hours at the friends who did. 

The "Skip It" - No guys owned these, but all guys couldnt get enough. What a neat toy I mean whats not to love; It had a state of the art built-in counting system, came in all sorts of colors (pink, yellow, green), and it barely fit around your foot. Id be latherin up my ankle for the better half of 15 minutes just to get that sucker on, but once it was on I just killed it. I had that counter thing was spinning like a ballerina.


Ty Beanie Babies - I don't know who Ty is, but that dude made a killing selling these worthless minature stuffed animals. My sister easily dropped two G's on them, and by my sister I mean my dad. Unless she was getting paid 150 bucks an hour back then to babysit me. They're was always something fishy too when you thought they were worth money. Oh cool, this ones valued at 250 dollars, oh wait . . . frick, it has the wrong tag or some bologne like that. My buddy JJ's little sister had the princess Dye beanie baby bear and she kept it in a case, cause rumor on the street was, that because she passed away it was gonna be worth like four billion dollars. As of today you can get them on ebay for just under three quarters.


Pogs - If I could go back in time 13 years, I would walk right up to myself, knock the pogs out of my hand, slap myself in the face, and say "Hey retard, your stacking circle cut-outs and hitting them with a slammer, grow a penis and stop being a loser". If I had a time machine I would clearly do a lot more cooler stuff but you get the idea. Every kid played this game, and to be honest I still dont even know the proper way to play it. All I knew was that my cousin had the torpedo slammer and no one F'd with him. True Story


- Nick Hall

Throwback Jam

Ace of Base - I saw the sign

If you didnt like this song when you were little, odds are good you ate at the cafeteria alone everyday

Movies 101 with Michael Schwimer

AVATAR - Before I start this column I would like to thank Nick for giving me this outlet to share my movie opinions. I will provide an outline that should help you to determine if you should go see it or not. 
  
First . . . You should see this movie if you love special effects, because they're are off the chain, unlike any movie I have ever seen.  If you have an IMAX within 30 miles of you it is certainly worth the trip, if not, stadium seating will do. If you are in some BoBo town with shitty ass theaters that have the permanent built in arm rests, then this isn't the movie for you.


Second… You should not see this movie if you have the attention span of a 5 year old.  It runs about 2 hours and 40 minutes,  add 20 minutes for the coming attractions and your looking at 3 hours in the theater.  There is constant action so it’s not a dull 3 hours, just make sure you hit the head first.


Third…  James Cameron, the director of Avatar, spent 5 years and 400 million dollars OF HIS OWN MONEY to make this.  He went broke just to give us this gem of a movie… don’t get it twisted though, he is estimated to make over 2 billion dollars from this movie alone.  Pretty good investment if you ask me.


Forth…  You should not see this movie if your questioning your sexual desires.  My best friend found the blue avatar broad to be really attractive.  But I can't make fun of him too bad, I always had a thing for Marge Simpson. (Side note) I think every person has some sort of super weird crush that makes no sense.  For my friend it was avatar girl, for me it was Marge Simpson, share your weird crush in the comments section


Fifth… Great date movie. I did go see this movie with a lady friend, and we both had a great time and by great time I mean my hand was on her thigh, even though I did catch her looking at her watch at one point.  


In conclusion… Unless you live in a small town with shitty theaters, you should ABSOLUTELY, 100% see this movie. It grades out as a 4.5 out of  5 stars on the Michael Scwimer scale.

Dynamite Facebook Status'

Brett Doszak would like to pistol whip every person on Wheel of Fortune who "buys" a vowel right before solving the puzzle. Hey D-Bag I'll take the $250 if you're looking to just piss money away

T.Y.B. Fan of the week

The award for Fan of the Week goes out to none other than . . . . . . . Jim "Double Oar" Lohmann

Hometown: Crystal Lake, IL

College: Augustana

Hobbies: Juggling decorative fruit in the kitchen, getting and giving mustache rides, and flicking his boogers on to the floormat while driving.

Fun Fact: Showers in a catchers stance

Why he won: Jim is a buddy from High School who has been all over TYB since its inception. The kid may miss a day here and there but hes never missed two. Any website would be glad to have this kid on board.

YouTube Tuesday!

This kid is money! The US as a whole needs more people like this.


Snowboarder Faceplant Off Ski Lift - Watch more Funny Videos

Video sent in by: Drew Hall

The worst reaction ever to a surprise present. This kids has a few other freakout videos on the net but this ones the worst. If he was my son I would ball and chain him in the basement until I was good and ready to let him out.  Once he gets the bat out this video really starts to heat up.



Video sent in by: Adam Webb

Here we have Guiliano Stroe from Romania, he's the worlds strongest 5 year old. I didnt even know that was an actual title a person could hold until I saw this video. This little dude is ripped up, when I was five I usually just dumped my pants and ate cheetos for all 3 meals, not trained for the summer olympics. Gotta love the Romanians bumping all types of rap too. For the record I was gonna attempt some of the moves that he did in this video but I left my family room gymnastics pull up bar in Texas.



Video Sent in by: Joe Weisser

Nick Halls Jam you should download

Kesha - Tik Tok

I heard it, downloaded it, then bumped it, all while going through the McDonalds drive-thru. This way the guy working knew I was a baller and would hook me up with more than just the 1 sweet and sour sauce they usually give.

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Vince Vaughn

Its not often you're walking down the streets of Chicago and bump into a movie star but thats exactly what happened this fall to my friend Keith Campbell. In this pic Keith looks like he canceled his spin class and robbed a J Crew store, while Vince's outfit kinda resembles what a stay at home dad would wear. Although it is nice to see Vince repping the Chicago Bears.

I was pretty sure we weren't gonna top last weeks celeb photo of Uncle Joey from Full House, but I think Old Babganoosh just did. Vince's best work was on The break-up where he plays videogames and talks trash throughout the movie and Rudy where he hates that Rudy hustles so much, cause no one likes the D-bag who wants to actually win the sprints at the end of practice. I usually finished at the end so I could conserve some energy for those High School dances.

* If you have a picture of yourself with a Celebrity, Send it in!

Mailbag with Doctor Hall

If anyone ever has a question about whatever, you can email it to Yummybro@gmail.com and Doctor Hall (who graduated in only four and a half years) will answer it with style, class, and fortitude. Just kidding, I dont even know what fortitude is, but I will use style and class.

We know the Big Gulp is the go-to, but what's your take on a Slurpee? I mean do you ever switch up your flow on a hot summer day or do you not fuck with a streak?    - Mark Beese

Wow, talk about a fork in the road. Im not gonna say its wrong to hit up the slurpee, because god knows I have. Here is a hot tip that should help you out, If you're craving a Slurpee you're usually only wanting a sip or two. So fill up your Big Gulp cup with about an inch of your preferred Slurpee flavor, chug it and then go fill up your BG up with pop. The best of both worlds for the price of one, its a recession baby, gotta cut some corners.

Sincerely,
- Doc

Big Gulp Award - Chumlee

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes out to Chumlee. Roughly three weeks ago I watched this show called Pawn Stars on the History channel. Its a reality show about a Pawn store and all the historic and neat things different people bring in and getting to see what they're valued at. This show is a must watch, not because its a good show, but because one of the guys who works there is the coolest dude in Nevada and his name is Chumlee.

Not sure if Chumlee is his real name, but what I do know is that this dude is dynamite, everything he says or does is hilarious, especially cause he talks in slow mo. He also rocks backwards MLB hats which is a direct indicator that youre pretty cool. On the show he does everything from shooting civil war rifles to chatting with Vegas dime pieces. Chumlee if youre not busy Im having a birthday party at Chuck e Cheese in 2 weeks and youre now invited.

- Nick Hall

Big Gulp Update

Here we have Steven Idlet from the University of Tulsa showing off  whats really good about Vegas. I'm not positive but I think they let you in free at the MGM Grand if you walk up to the door with a Big Gulp. If not they should clearly give you a discount because you already spent a $1.19 on the finest beverage known to man, and no ones made out of money.

Steven is 6 feet 11 inches which can only mean three things. His crotch is out of water when he's in the shallow end, Hes awful at Hide-n-go-seek, and that drinking Big Gulps are fun for all sizes.

Photo of the day - Christmas

Here you have Adam Gracely spreading some serious Christmas cheer. He's the only Santa I know who weighs 170 pounds, rocks wood grain glasses, and is working some sweet Nike air max's.

If for some reason you're not a big fan of the greatest holiday on earth then maybe taking a look at this young buck will certainly get you in the mood. That costume is butter and if I had it I would wear that thing year round. Nothing says June and July like me in a Santa costume.

- Nick Hall

Joke of the day! - Christmas Edition

Why does Saint Nick not like going down the chimney?

(click comment for answer)

Who cares just say it

Its December 24th and I would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas. I dont play that "Happy Holidays" game. I say Merry Christmas and I really don't care if thats not politically correct because its what I celebrate and its what I'm gonna say. Dont fall into that stupid trap, they already took away calling it "sitting indian style" from us, now its called criss cross applesauce, They're not taking Christmas.


- Nick Hall

Breaking News

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Patrick Swayze 57, passed away. Patrick was best known for his roles in Ghost, Dirty Dancing, and Roadhouse.

TYB just got wind of this last night from an inside source. Our reporter Rick Hall was on the scene and the first person on US soil to break this story.

Quick Thoughts By: Nick Hall

How are Long John Silvers still in business? Minus those hush puppie things they got that place basically serves TV dinners. Im not a geography expert  but I dont see a lot of fresh Cod and Shrimp in Missouri, but apparently that doesnt stop old John Silver. How long is that dude anyway? man that place is brutal.

- Nick Hall

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Shaun Seibert

This weeks award goes out to the man, the myth, the legend, the landscaper . . . . Shaun Seibert!

Hometown: Edwardsville, IL

College: University of Arkansas

Hobbies - Books with pictures, cleaning his windshield with the courtesy squeegee when pumping gas, and talking dirty to snowmen

Fun Fact - Was a roadie for the Jonas Brothers 2008 summer tour, but had to bow out after only 3 weeks due to a serious ankle injury suffered in Albuquerque involving Nick Jonas..

Why he won - Shaun consistently puts the Yummy Bro URL as his status and isnt afraid to tells all his buddies about the site. Its not often a kid from Southern Illinois can win an award like this so soak it in Shaun . . . . soak it in.

YouTube Tuesday!

For about 15 years this guy really was the baddest dude on the planet. I remember paying 50 bucks for the pay-per-view fights, just to watch him win in the first round. At the 2:20 mark is the worst way to start a fight of all time, if you're that white guy with the sweet mustache

- Nick Hall

Heres some great fighting tips from Dr. Steve Brule. Best part of this video is when he says its a great way to make a friend, or when he called the other man a weirdo raper guy. This video is good, and by good I mean really good.



Sent in by: Jim Lohmann (sorta)

If I was the kid sitting next to her I would of clearly hit her with the miniature pillows the give you several times



Video Sent in by: Kathy Jermal

Actual Quote

 "If you're not hittin' the Gym for an hour or so, then you know . . . you may have a problem. Because I'm at the gym for like an hour and a half, you know . . . working on my fitness."

 -Mike "The Situation"

Awesome Phrase of the day

Yummy Bro is a prime example of a student teacher, I dont know everything, but I will tell you what I do know. If I can help just one child expand their vocabulary then by golly I will do it. Todays new phrase is new and brought to you by yours truly. The phrase is "Booty Sauce".
I know what you're thinking, what the heck is booty sauce Hall Trane? Well booty sauce is what a girl has if her body is off the charts. Basically its good enough to eat, and you can't eat it plain, you gotta throw some booty sauce on there. I use this phrase sparingly because when I do it just turns into a press conference where I enlighten everyone on what being a baller is all about.


Example:
Fletcher - So I met this girl at the mall, started talking and I think we're hanging out on Thursday.
Gary - Real nice, Hows she look?
Fletcher - Shes cute, like a 7 I'd say, but were talking Booty sauce kid!

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Dave Couiler

This picture is better suited for throwback Thursday but he's a celebrity none the less. Here is my old buddy Jordan Rovito (kid rockin the stonewashed jeans and a white hat).  I wish I knew the kid in the raiders jacket and old school nintendo sunglasses, that dude is money. Most of you can probably pick out who this character is in the middle, but f you can't it's Dave Couiler aka Uncle Joey Gladstone from Full House. It looks like Uncle Jory took a break from his sort-of-a-celebrity golf outing to pose for a pic. I never really laughed at any of his jokes on the show other than "cut it out", but you have to respect any man wearing a shirt with a front pocket. I can't believe Jordan got close enough to him to actually take picture, by the looks of that guard in the back, security there was pretty tight.

* Send your picture with a celebrity into Yummybro@gmail.com and you can make the Hangin with Mr. Cooper segment.

Big Gulp Award

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes out too Christmas Elves. These 3 footers are not only Santas little helpers but great people as well, some of my best friends are elves. These guys are the unsung heros of the North Pole and for the past two months they have spent countless hours working around the clock to make toys for kids all over the world. I cant imagine the toll it must take on their little families, figuratively and literally. Due to female elf hips they can only bare 1 child.


I started a non profit organization (YummyBroFightsElfHipDisease.org) that will help find a cure for the 1 child per elf cause. Our goal is 40 million dollars. If you want to help please donate today!

Big Gulp Update

Here is what I like to call the Dream Team. Not taking anything away from Michael, Magic, Sir Charles, and the rest of the gang, but not even the '92 olympic team could live this large. Im talking about Double Gulps and Rice Krispie treats, the stuff champions are made of. If you asked me what is the coolest possible way to spend 6 dollars? I would show you this picture and then say "Boo Yea"

* Feel free to send in your own Big Gulp Pics to Yummybro@gmail.com and I will post it.

Mall Santas

Tis' the season to be jolly, fa la la la - la la la. I have never understood how the line for sitting with a mall santa is 4 hours long. Not only is it long but its filled with crying babies and kids who don't even wanna be there. Taking a pic with saint Nick is a tradition in my family so I still go every year. I mean I know he's fake, I just don't have the heart to tell my mom.


When youre a kid their is nothing cooler than seeing Santa, a warm and cuddly man in a red suit trying to grant all your wishes. Its not til your about 20 years old that you realize the guy in the suit is probably some degenrate drunk who really needs the 8 bucks an hour so he can feed his gambling habit. This guy probably leaves straight from work and heads over to the track so he can bet on the ponies.


What I want to know is who dresses Santa? The guy rocks ugg boots and a belt buckle that looks like he just won a rodeo. Feel free to mix in a T-shirt Santa, heaven forbid you'd wear a baseball hat. The winter beanie with a fur ball on the end hasnt been cool since the mid 70's. An those gloves, my word Santa, are you giving away presents or doing an anal cavity search? Just kidding but seriously you granting wishes or testing for dust?

- Nick Hall

Actual Quotes

"I wish my girlfriend would just cheat on me so I could have a reason to dump her"

- Friend

Fun Facts By: Nick Hall

What is the difference between Cows and Cattle?

The terms cows and cattles get thrown around a lot, I just wanted to make sure were all clear. When you are using the term cows it refers to using the animals for dairy purposes only. When you use the term cattle it means you are using the animal for meat.

Throwback Thursday - First Kiss

It's Thursday so we need to hop in the wayback machine and discuss the magical unforgettable experience that was your first kiss. Oh and for it to count as a first real kiss it's gotta be with tongue, none of this pecking business. That shiz only counts in The Philippines. 

Before you ever have that first kiss, there's always that awkward couple of months when some of your friends have already kissed a girl and when they ask you if you have done it yet and you always reply with "Nah not yet, it looks like it'd be stupid, I mean I totally could of like 2 weeks ago, but I was  just super busy". I actually  had a buddy who practiced on his hand before so he could be ready for the big game. 

I'll never forget my first time I planted one on a lady. I was at my buddies house in 7th grade and the girl I had been dating for a month a.k.a. the girl I wrote notes too, lived just down the street. She was doing what most 12 year old tricks do, which was jumping on her trampoline. So I decided to hop on that biz and get in a few double bounces before I took her down to the canvas. Not positive, but I am pretty sure I was wearing a black Michael Jordan bulls jersey which clearly turned her on and me too come to think of it. Before I knew it we were making out in her backyard and it was no accident when I grazed her boob over her sweatshirt. After, I remember walking back to my buddies and singing "Im not a player I just crush a lot" real loudly, so the whole block could know the big dog just got his swerve on.

I think she dumped me less than a week later. My guess, she was just using this hunk to get her fix. Can't really blame her though, I always had the latest snap-on bracelet and chicks dug my bowl cut. Nuff said.

Throwback Jam

Sugar Ray - Fly

These dudes were the shiznit for like a 9 week span before they fell off the map.

Get that Tivo ready

On tap this week:

Thursday on Mtv at the 10 spot, if you havent watched an episode yet you need to. Its Jersey Shore with 4 Guido's and 4 Guidettes, These clowns are classic. One guy nicknamed himself "The situation". He's pigeon toed and has the neck of a giraffe, but when he calls himself the situation I cant help but love it. All the dudes take roids, gel there hair to a point where it wouldnt move in a typhoon, and have spray on tans. My buddy put it a good way, this show is like a car accident, you shouldnt watch, but you can't help but stare at it.

In this weeks episode one of the broads named "Snookie" is talking junk at a bar and gets absolutely haymakered  in the face by a guy who clearly didnt like what she had to say. This hit is so hard I cant believe her head didnt fall off her body. (YouTube Clip Here) In this video though they also show her dance in the opening credits which kinda makes you want to hit her in the face too.

Nick Halls Jam you should download

Kris Allen - Live like we're dying

Its that guy from american idol's first song. Its an 8 out of 10 on the Boo-ya scale.

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Shane Heirman

This weeks award for T.Y.B. Fan of the week goes out to the kid who never pays you money when he owes it to you, the kid who's not afraid to shoot even if hes triple teamed and your wide open in the corner, the kid who sucks at Yahtzee. . . . . . . . . . Shannnnnnne Heirman

Hometown: Crystal Lake, IL

College: University of Tulsa

Hobbies - keep going around in revolving doors, calling radio shows to win B2K tickets, and dating Koreans

Fun Fact - Started his own Fight Club April 19th 2001 after he saw the movie, Then canceled the fight club April 20th, 2001 after he was knocked out by his sister while preparing for his first fight

Why he won - Shane has spread the Yummy Bro name to all of his friends and family as well as his Tulsa BBall team. Ive known shane for 10 years and I think he still owes me 50 bucks, but other than that hes been a good buddy and fan since day 1

YouTube Tuesday!

This video is one of the coolest stories Ive heard about in awhile. I first opened it and started watching and thought "Gosh I hate Barbra Walters" but then the story comes into play. This has gotta be the most touching video in Youtube history, I didnt know whether to cry or go buy a lion cub on ebay.


Sent in by: Virginia's finest, Michael Schwimer

Theres no cooler athlete when he opens his mouth than Chad Ochocinco. Here is a nice compilation of some of his quotes from the past year. This dude eats McDonalds twice a day and shops at claires in the mall, so you know hes money. "That movie Super Size me, its a fricken movie, Child please is what that gets".


Sent in By: Misty Woolery

Here is a great video that aired on QVC. This guy clearly isnt gonna win ladder salesman of the month anytime soon. I love how he messes up once and tries to cover it up quickly and then really blows it.

Sent in by: Matt Steiger and Mark Olszewski

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Tom Brady

In just our third week of having our new celebrity segment called Haning with Mr Cooper, my friend Megan Hawkins brought in a ringer from Boston. In case you live under a rock or in a neighborhood just outside of Bahgdad this is New England Patriots quaterback Tom Brady. Tom is most known for throwing 50 Touchdowns in 2007, having 3 super bowl rings, and plowing supermodel Gisele Bunchden. I'm more impressed with the latter. If this picture teaches us anything its to prove my point that rocking out a plain white t-shirt in public is always sweet look.

*feel free to send in pics of you and a celebrity to Yummybro@gmail.com

Big Gulp Award - Some 10 yr old

True Story. While driving in my car over to my cousins house today, I saw some 10 year old standing atop this hill. Then I see this little stroke in red snow pants chuck a snowball a good 85 feet and hit my car directly on my window as I drive by. so I did what anyone would do. I stopped my car, ran up the hill, confronted him in front of all of his loser friends by saying this; First off, you in the red snow pants that was an awesome throw, and second dont be chucking snowballs at cars, especially 2008 Jeep Grand Cherokees. That sweet throw wins him this weeks Big Gulp Award.

Heis-the-man Trophy

This saturday Mark Ingram from the University of Alabama won the Heisman Trophy for the most outstanding college football player. Well we here at T.Y.B. didnt agree with it so we are giving out our own Heisman Trophy and calling it The He-is-the-man Trophy.

In our balloting it was a close race but ultimately C.J. Spiller from Clemson Uninversity took home the hardware. Toby Gerhart out of Stanford was a close second. Mark Ingram finished 11th in our voting. All season long CJ was in the building. The dude scored a Touchdown five different ways and always has a fresh fade for the ladies. I cant wait to see him in the league next year. CJ you nasty kid.

Big Gulp Update

Saturday is usually weekly Big Gulp pic day and I just realized I never even posted a picture of myself with a Big Gulp. Here is a pic of me like 4 years ago with my boy and current Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and former NIU athlete Sam Hurd. Everyone loves a 64 ounce cup filled to the brim with pop. Not sure whats nastier in this pic; Hurd, The double gulp, Me or My shirt.

Send us in your Big Gulp Pics to Yummbro@gmail.com and will post em

If you like energy drinks and you like cheerleaders, This commercial was made by an acquaintance of mine Blake Segall, no relation to Steven Segall, but he does know self defense. Blake is hoping to win first place in the Monavie commercial contest, so he needs every hit he can get. (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD51aiRMt0Y

Road Trip Tips

FOR MEN ONLY - I have traveled by car all across this great country, so I know a thing or two about road trippin it. There is numerous amounts of things that can go wrong or other challenges that may present themselves when on the road for 20 straight hours, and today Im gonna tell you how to win the battle with your bladder.

At your first stop, which is usually for food, a mans man will upgrade his drink size. Doing this is the problem and yet the solution at the same time. Lets say you are back on the road for about an hour or so and you all of the sudden you really have to take a leak. Some people look for rest stops, I consider that cheating and it really hurts your arrival time. Heres what you can do instead, take your empty big gulp cup which is now your portable bathroom. I suggest you tip the cup at a slight angle to allow for maximum urine and no spillage. This move comes as no big secret to some men.  The tough part is the dismount, I know from experience. Usually on a road trip you're doing 75mph on a highway and any rookie will just stick it out the window and dump it. This mistake will result in piss all over your window, car, hand, and arm. It can ruin an afternoon and the smell of your car. What you need to do is a little move I like to call the "Deceleration Dump"

WARNING!!! - Move works best when driving solo. To properly execute the DD(Deceleration Dump) here is what you need to do. First, kick off your cruise control so that your cars speed lowers at a consistent rate. Second, once your cars speed has dropped below the 45 mph mark you are free to roll your window down. An lastly, place the pee gulp out the window with maximum arm stretch and turn it over. Follow these simple steps and youre on your way to smooth sailing.

Fun Fact Fridays, By Nick Hall

What does "Bury the hatchet" really mean?

We all know that to bury the hatchet means to overcome your differences and put them behind you. What most people didnt know is that this saying was first derived by the Native Americans. Chiefs of a tribe would bury a hatchet when they had come to a peace agreement as a sign of good faith.

Example:

Tim -    Sorry for giving you aids

Sherry - Its cool, these things happen, why dont we have some wine and bury the ole hatchet

Tim -    First class Sherry. . . . . . first class.

Throwback Thursday - Chuck e Cheese

Its Thursday so unless youre a new visitor you better know what that means, its throwback time. Today its all about the greatest restaurant for anyone under the age of 12, thats right I'm talkin about Chuck e Cheeses, where a kid can be a kid.

 In Crystal Lake we also had a rival place called Leap'n Lizards, it didnt compare but they had this thing called the rubber band tower that was real nasty. Took most kids like 45 seconds to get all the way to the top, but for some reason it always took me just under a half hour. Not gonna lie, I usually stopped half way up to share a fruit roll-up with some honeydip.

Chuck-e-Cheese is like Vegas for little kids. I dont have a Guinness book  handy but I'm pretty sure I own the record for most consecutive birthday parties held at Chuck-e-cheese with 21. I know for a fact me and my buddies had an awesome time last January, cant wait to go back. If you never had a birthday party at this place growing up then you missed out on a real childhood.

What I remember most about this place was the huge jungle gym made out of human sized hamster tubes. All the ballers knew if you were going to a birthday party you had to rock some sweat pants for 2 reasons; knee protection and for extra speed through the tubes. The worst was taking off your shoes and putting them in the cubbie holes, I always felt like some other dude who rocked a size 4 was gonna gank my kicks.  After dominating every slide in that biz I usually camped out in the ball pit for a good forty minutes showing off my arm strength to any little retard who dared come into my pit. As soon as I hit a kid, I would dive down in the balls and hide, not a classy move but extremely effective.

Back in the day, I thought they had the worlds best pizza, I also ate my boogers so I probably wasnt a good judge of food, but it sure was tasty. I remember eating the pizza and watching that band of crazy mascots just shredding on their guitars. I can't believe they never made it big. The arcade part was awesome, but the prize redeem place was a total rip off. You would walk up there and say "I'll take that remote control car" because after twenty five games of  cheating at wack-a-mole with your buddies you now have 190 tickets only to find out that to get the RC car you need 740,000 tickets.

- Nick Hall

Throwback Jam

LFO - Summer Girls

Quite possibly the gayest, but most catchy songs of all time. Its chuck full of brutal lines. Here are some:

Terrible line - New kids on the block had a bunch of hits, chinese food makes me sick

Terrible line - Stay all summer then went back home, Macauley Calkin wasnt home alone

Terrible line - There was a good man named Paul Revere, I feel much better baby when you near

Terrible line - I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

(MUSIC VIDEO LINK)

Top 3 - Movies of All-Time

3 - (Shooter) Mark Wahlberg is in it for one, he's a sniper two, and his love interest is a smokeshow three. This movie is awesome from start to finish, it has that him vs. the world feel to it. Im a big Marky Mark fan. I joined his online fan club in June, just kidding, but seriously I'd watch a 2 hour movie if  it was just of Wahlberg taking a nap, thats how sick this guy is.

2. (Kingpin) You combine a rubber handed washed up drunk with an Amish bowler and you're already half way to winning an Academy Award. Not to mention you bring in a character like "Big Ern", Its got Top 3 written all over it.

Best line in the whole movie:
Roy -        "Oh my god, This hasnt worked in 20 years, how did you get my dads old pocketwatch to work"
Claudia -  "I wound it"
Roy -        "It has a winder?"

1. (Braveheart) - William Wallace speaks fluent english, french, and latin. Not to mention the Princess of England is jockin all over him. Any dude who rides horses and slices people with a 7 foot sword is cool in my book. For the past 8 years I have filled in William Wallace in the "other" category and voted for him on every ballot in every election. Its a shame he doesnt get more votes. I really thought we had a shot last year with him as City Council President. Braveheart is the single greatest movie ever made (that didn't star buzz light year).

Whats your Number 1 movie? and why

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Mark Beese

This weeks award for T.Y.B. Fan of the week goes out to the best athletic trainer this side of the Mississippi. . . . . . . . . . Mark Beese (pronounced Bee-Zee)

Hometown: Largo, FL

College: Florida State University

Hobbies - Seeing if his watches are actually water proof up to 100 feet, Climbing willow trees, and wacking off under a black light

Fun Fact - BZ actually invented the "U-Turn", It used to be called the "Complete direction change of your car turn". But in 1997 Mark coined the phrase "U-Turn" and sold it at an auction for 35 dollars and these 4 beans that he later threw out cause his mom got pissed.

Why he won - Mark owns a TYB T-Shirt, Comments daily, and has spread the Yummy Bro cheer throughout Florida and Chicago. Hes been a fan since day 1 and a good friend for almost 8 months. I dont care if Bobby Bowden left Florida State, because Mark Beese is FSU!

YouTube Tuesday!

The title of this video says Hardest Hitting 6 yr old. Well after watching this video numerous times, it really is the hardest hitting human under the age of 17. If I had to line up against this kid in a hitting drill, I would fake tie my shoes for 3 minutes just so someone else would have to matchup against him. Watch the first hit twice. (once normal, and the second time just watch the little QB holding the ball out)



Video sent in by: Mike Berry, Daron Whitmore, & Adam Schwarzentraub

Here you have a drunk Kentucky fan at one of their home football games. This guy clearly has that boom boom pow. I kinda wish he went to Northern Illinois games to get the crowd really goin. What baffles me is he's wearing no shirt and jeans, I would of never in a million years thought someone from the state of Kentucky would dress like that.



Video sent in by: Matt Kamine

This video is pretty funny, partially because he is awful at English, but mainly because I am a sucker for asians. On a scale of 1-10 in terms of having a good singing voice I am about a 2. This kids better than me, but only by a hair. I'm a 9 if I get to sing George Strait- "Check yes or no" then you can just forget about it, but if I am told to sing something else I am back to a 2.



Video Sent in By: Pat Brix

Keepin it real(Jewish Version): by Matt Lythberg

The Facts and Myths about Hanukkah and people from the old country

Theres got to be at least 3 jewish people who read Yummy Bro, so its about time to drop some serious Jew knowledge on TYB. Most people think Hanukkah is just 8 days of presents where kids who wear mini winter hats get presents from their dads in curly sideburns, all while spinning the dreidel for 12 straight hours on the kitchen table. Only 1/3rd of that statement is true, but I cant tell you what part.

Myth or Fact: Jewish kids love spinning the dreidel.
Answer: Myth. Although one time I played when I was like 6 with my cousins, but anyone that seriously likes spinning a wooden top for fun has bigger problems than being Jewish.


Myth or Fact: Jews got it made with presents for 8 CRAZY nights
Answer: Myth. When kids are young, they think its fun getting one present each night. that is until they go over to their friends house and see 73 presents under a tree. There's nothing fun about getting a Ford Mustang calendar then having to wait 24 hours only to get a Will Smith cd the next day.

Myth or Fact: When Jews light the candles on the Menorah, they say a bunch of hebrew gibberish.
Reality: Fact, Really wish it was a myth though

Myth or Fact: Hanukkah is the Jewish version of Christmas.
Answer: Myth. My Jewdar(jewish radar) tells me that Hanukkah registers roughly a 1.2 on the scale of important jewish holidays.

- Matt Lythberg (Your Jew keeping you in the new)

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Thomas Ian Nicholas

I know what you're thinking "Who the hell is Thomas Ian Nicholas?". Well if you look more closely at the picture you can start to make out a 5 foot tall pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. Thats right folks I'm talking about Henry Rowengardner. Kristie Tyler was out and about in Crystal Lake over thanksgiving when she bumped into the C list actor/awful singer(hes on itunes folks) at a local bar where he was playing his music.

If you never got a chance to see the movie Rookie of the Year, then he has also acted in the American Pie movies where he is known to make pacts to try and get passed third base. I dont know if he spent all of his money on lotto tickets or hair curlers but hes clearly hurting for cash. I personally wish he would of stuck with baseball, that kid showed a lot of promise with a good fastball and that nasty floater.

*feel free to send in pics of you and a celebrity to Yummybro@gmail.com

Big Gulp Award - CL

This weeks Big Gulp award goes out to Crystal Lake, IL. This award comes shortly after it swept all of the town categories at this years annual Best of the Best ceremony on A&E yesterday at 8pm mountian standard time. Crystal Lake won the award for Best town ever, Best town to drink a big gulp in, Best pizza ever(Georgio's deep dish) Best town to take drivers ed in, Best little league ever(Shout out to American Pie pizza '95 team)and it won the town that has produced the most ballers in the last ten years. All of these accolades are facts

- Nick Hall

Fun Fact Fridays, By Nick Hall

What does "You let the cat out of the bag" actually mean?

We all know that when someone has let the cat out of the bag it means they have ruined a surprise. The saying actually comes from the 1500's when people would sell pigs at the market and to try and fraud a buyer, they would substitute a cat for a piglet and sell it without ever letting it out of the bag.

Example:
Nick - Hey Scott you pumped about your surprise party?

Scott - I didnt know I was having one. Well I guess the cats outta the bag now Hall Trane!

Nick - I am so sorry dude, lets go to B dubs, get 12 boneless on the big guy.

Scott - Can I get Spicy Garlic?

Nick - You bet your ass you can.

Pose of the month - "Thanks, Its neat"

It comes as no surprise that December is known as the time for giving and receiving. What we also know is the feeling you have of getting a gift that just absolutely sucks. To make it even worse is when the person who gave you that brutal gift is sitting across from you on a couch watching your every move of you unwrapping it. Theres no where to turn but to give the "Thanks, Its neat" pose.

Here you have my boy Jesse Seykora demonstrating exactly what I am talking about. He knows the gift sucks as soon as he unwraps the corner of it, but still manages to pull out a smile and head nod like it was the gift he has always wanted. You can see here Jesse has just received 3 DVDs that were clearly from the bargain bin at Wal-mart, if you look closely I'm pretty sure thats Steven Seagull on the cover in the first one. Jesse was hoping for Braveheart but got 3 paperweights instead.

This move is all to common by me when it comes to one of my aunts. I have received screwdrivers from her the past 2 christmas'. I didnt need screwdrivers in the first place, what makes her think I wanted a backup set? Well it still beats the book of Unicorns she gave my cousin Joe in 2006(He was 19 at the time). Be sure to practice your "Thanks, Its neat" pose in the mirror every morning and you should have smooth sailing this holiday season.

- Nick Hall

Joke of the day!

A woman goes into a Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her Grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'

He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.'

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb. test line. It's a good all round combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.

It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter', she says. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. She is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The clerk rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please. The woman is totally confused by this mans math and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'

He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $14.50

Throwback Thursday - Saved by the Bell

Its Thursday so turn back that clock. Today I wanna talk about the greatest high school show in history that wasnt called "Hang Time". You know the one with the girl who played hoops and was kind of tomboy hot but she missed the baseline jumper to win state for Deering High. Sorry got a little sidetracked, still kinda bitter, I had money on that game. Back to the point, the best show ever was clearly Saved by the Bell.

This show was so buck wild I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll kick things off with THE MAX. This place was the hangout, you couldn't go through an episode without someone drinking a milkshake there. Max was also the owner, and not only did he make a mean basket of fries, but the dude did magic tricks on the reg. I tried performing some magic when I was working at Chili's. I got fired that same day, how was I suppose to know that little girl was allergic to bunnies?

We all had favorite cast members and most people would say theirs was Zack. The dude had a mobile phone when the rates were like $9.99 per minute, frosted tips, and he could make people freeze by calling timeout whenever he wanted. He didn't utilize this move enough when kelly was around, ohhh free boob grabs, just kidding thats gross. But Zack had all the swagger any kid could ever want, and thats why I was a big fan of AC Slater, I liked him because he called broads hot mama, dudes preppy, and rocked a jeri curl mullet for 11 years. But I guess thats what you get when you grow up in a Military family.

This show taught people how to overcome obstacles in everyday life, like when Lisa never let her bum ankle keep her from winning that dance title. I was so proud of her and still am today. An when Kelly's dad lost her job and she couldn't go to prom, I was never really sure why she couldn't go? Apparently prom tickets at Bayside were like 5 grand. I used to show up to dances in sweat pants and still had the hoes circle around me when they played my jam.

Heres a quick synopsis of the rest of the show - Screech was a munson who loved chess and bugs. Mr Belding(principal) had a great laugh and never punished anyone . Jessie was a feminist and took speed pills. Valley was their rival high school and always brought the thunder. Tori was a biker lesbian who never took off her leather jacket. Last but not least. Kelly Kapowski was a smokeshow, basically an angel disguised as a high school cheerleader.

Throwback Video

This is and only this is the reason Saved by the Bell aired for 38 years. Slaters got that move on lockdown. If I met a genie, I would make him teach me to dance like this for my first wish.

Skinny Jeans

Ladies, I dont know who or why or even what the hell makes you think skinny jeans are cool, but apparently you do because roughly 40% of women in America have decided to wear them all of the sudden. My guess is because it has skinny in the title. They only look good if you rock em with some boots so no one can see that they're skinny jeans. Im no fashion expert although I did watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show very closely last night, but here is a little tip for you - If the Jonas Brothers wear em, then you shouldn't. (Jonas Bro. picture here) I'm really hoping this is a fad, kinda like when every girl had Giga pets or a side ponytail. If it is a fad, Im just hoping this one ends on December 3rd.

Reasons you shouldnt wear them:
1. If you're skinny, they look bad, if you're fat, they look really bad
2. You're a girl and somehow you still look like a Jonas Brother
3. No one cares if you have nicely shaped ankles
4. In case of an emergency no one can get to your calf from the bottom
5. You still look like a Jonas Brother

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Mike Berry

This weeks award for T.Y.B. Fan of the week goes out to the garbage picking, field goal kicking, Illinois Wesleyan Phenom. . . . . . . . . . Michael Berry

Hometown: Crystal Lake, Il

College: Illinois Wesleyan University

Hobbies - Trying to get 00.01 on his stopwatch, Locking his keys in his car, and freeskating naked at the local roller rink

Fun Fact - Mike's great great great great great great grandpa was the cobbler of Thomas Jeffersons second cousins wife. True story, he has the shoelaces to prove it.

Why he won - Mike and I have been boys since before the millennium. Hes been an avid fan since day 1 and has sent in numerous things to the fan mail. Mike checks TYB daily and spreads it to his friends and co-workers. If some of you punks had half the tenacity Mike had, we'd all be in a better place.

YouTube Tuesday Funniest Commercials!

How could I of possibly forgot. Fallon is a top 5 favorite person of mine so when this video was sent in I knew I had to post it. The shoulder shrug move he does after he tosses that trick in the air is priceless.


Sent in by: Daniel Jewett

This commercial is a little vulgar so watch your volume if youre at work or your parents are around. Its about a german family listening to a song in english and having no clue. Say what you want about that dad but the guy can dance. Also that little tricks pigtails are off the charts.


Sent in by: Mike Cash