Big Gulp Award - Spring Training

Todays Big Gulp Award goes out to SPRING TRAINING. With March here and weather warming up that can only mean one thing. . . Baseball is here. In Florida and Arizona pro teams are reporting to Spring Training in order to get ready for a long six month season. For minor leaguers I don't know why they need 5 weeks to get ready. Get ready for what? Sitting on a bus, catching fly balls during batting practice and yelling at latin players to not touch your stuff.

Baseball really is the greatest sport ever though, I mean besides Kentucky where else can you dip tobacco and be considered cool? Also baseball season being here means one more thing, you will get to see Tim Kurkijan and Peter Gammons now more than your own mother, but if youre my buddy Greg Walker then Peter Gammons kind of looks like your mother so it works out well.

Funny Break-Up Letter - Sent in by Daryl Maday

A letter from a cheating girlfriend with the most amazing response ever

Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.

There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.

Dynamite Facebook Status

Mike Chamness - "USA Womens Curling gets beat . . . fml"

Throwback thursday - The sack lunch

I love eating cafeteria food as much as the next 8th grader but this post is strictly for when you brought. My mom knew all the vitals to a good sack lunch;

THE JUICEBOX - I usually rocked Kool-Aid Bursts because I loved the twist off tops and they tasted like liquid heaven. Capri suns were also the Cadillacs of juice boxes minus the fact it took me 35 minutes to get the straw in that little hole. If you rocked the Motts apple juicebox then you usually sat by yourself at lunch while me and my friends threw our trash at you.

FRUIT - If I ever opened up my brown bag and saw any type of fruit I would immediately look to trade it. Fruit is for girls and kids who are home schooled. Banana is the absolute lowest of the low, one time my mom accidently put a banana in my lunch and I ran away for 11 months to prove my point.

SNACKS IN ZIPLOC BAGS - From Pretzels to cheetos, these were a must in the sack if you wanted that hott girl in pigtails to write you a note. I remember when Gardettos first came out I brought those to school for a whole week and that same week I madeout with half the dance team, just kidding, but seriously I went to second base with the valedictorian.

THE SIGNATURE - Paragraph 4, line 3 in the declaration of independence, You must always have your name written on the front of your sack lunch.

Throwback Jam

Ja Rule - Holla

This was the first CD I ever bought, but the second CD I ever bought was spice girls so its not saying much. Either way this song is on a whole nother level and Ja Rules raspy voice is buck wild!

((Click for Music Video))

Time Saving Tips

If you're one of those people where there just never seems to be enough hours in the day then this should help. With these tips you will be able to start living your life and stop staring at the clock. For a healthier lifestyle try and do these things everyday .

Tip 1 - Brush your teeth while taking a dump. You're already in the bathroom and it can easily save you up to two minutes a day. I did some research and found out that 96% of all sinks are within arms reach of the toilet. That's not me telling you it's a good idea, that's math telling you.

Tip 2 - Eat while driving. I recently became ranked in the US top 100 for the worlds best knee drivers. I use this technique on a daily basis, mainly when I car dance or have food on my lap. People always say, Yo Hall Trane aren't you putting the other passengers at risk when you eat and drive? You bet your ass I am, but I will be damned if I let my sweet and sour sauce hit the floor mat.

Tip 3 - Dont wear underwear

Tip 4 - Abbreviate words, its fast, easy and effective.
 (for example)
Ronnie: Whats your plans for the evening?
Kurt: I think I might P some F with the D, then C one out before I H the H.
Ronnie: Always fun playing a little fetch with the dog. Ohh great call on cranking one out before you hit the hay, I've been a little stressed lately, I think I might wack it too.

Shits Hot!

(Click Picture to Enlarge)
Fresh off the presses is the New 2010 edition Yummy Bro T-Shirts. Its an elegant white short sleeve look with unbelievable graphics, from the laser print on the front, to the T.Y.B. on the back. This thing looks like it was made by an angel, an angel that can F'n sew. The white shirts are $14.99 and $4.99 for shipping. There is a limited amount so get em while they're hot. I saw this shirt and I was immediatly like ohhh dang doo, then my buddy was like those shirts are sick doo, I was like Ohh dang doo.

Black ones still available(small-medium)
Funded by: The Daniel "DJ Nasty" Jewett Foundation

T.Y.B. Update!

The Fan of the week segment will now be permanently switched to Fan of the Month and said person will also have their picture posted for the entire month on the right hand side of the website!

Thanks,
Nick Hall
Yummy Bro's - CEO,  CFO, MVP, HDTV

YouTube Tuesday!

If you have never watched the Planet Earth DVDs then this is what you're missing. I suggest you go to Best Buy asap and pick em up, then fake sick and watch em all.



Video sent in by: Fletcher Davis

Here is a classic video from Jerry Springer. It combines Kung-Fu with life long tips on how to live a good life.



Video sent in by: Joe Norton

This is similar to what I would look like if I walked around in heels all day



Video sent in by: Matt Jernstad and Mike Cash

T.Y.B-Vo

Here is whats on tap this week on the television for all of you sucka MCs who like to tivo your shows on Monday or for those who like to have something on tv to look forward too.

American Idol, 7pm cst Tuesday on Fox - Simon Cowell is the man. I used to think this show was the worst, but once you watch an episode you're hooked. I still watch even though they didn't let this one broad I liked go to Hollywood. No question she sung like a waitress who's been inhaling second hand smoke since the late 60's, but she was slammin hott.

American Pickers, 8pm cst Monday on History - Two guys road trip across the country hitting up farms and homes of people who collect junk to see if they have any hidden gems they can purchase from them.
- P.s. Guys, dont go to my house unless you're looking for a rare XXXL 2004 Riddell jockstrap.

Sport of the Week (sponsored by Wendys 99 cents Spicy Nuggets)
The NFL Combine, February 24 on the NFL Network you get to see the best players in college football go through vigorous training exercises as they get evaluated by scouts. I got 5th in my fantasy football league last year so I was gonna go and workout there too but I tweaked my back and on top of that they wouldn't let me run my 40 yd dash in my shoes that have the built-in heel wheel, so I just said F it.

Hanging with Mr. Cooper - Dave Stewart

Here you have Zach Minor with former MLB pitcher Dave Stewart. I am not a hundred percent sure but it looks like Dave is rocking a Fubu jacket. Not only does Fubu earn you instant street cred in rough neighborhoods but it also does the exact opposite in normal towns.

Dave Stewart, best known for pitching 17 seasons in the big leagues for Oakland and Toronto.  Zach Minor is best known for not going tanning.

Big Gulp Award - Rudy Cleveland

This weeks Big Gulp Award goes out Rudy Cleveland. The reason he wins this award is just showing pure dedication to ones own craft. Rudy spent Thursday night like he usually does, trolling for honeydips. Only this time he tried a different approach. He claimed he was from Liverpool England and went with a heavy English accent to try and land this one broad.

That's not why he is receiving this award. He won it because he spent four straight hours using a fake English accent and claiming he was from Europe just to weasel his way into some girls dungarees. This kid dares to be great, and gosh damn it you have to respect that.

Bus Fight

If you watch this video you can learn a few things. 1) never fight old men with beards. 2) The wrong way to pronounce ambulance. and 3) Where to get a shirt that says Im A mother F'er on the back



Video sent in by Daron Whitmore

Dynamite facebook status

Kyle Morden - Dodged a parking ticket this morning . . . Kyle - 1, Chicago Parking Enforcement - 107

Throwback Thursday - Passing Notes

When passing a note there is 3 important steps:

The Honeydip: Such a crucial part of the equation. Not only did you need to pick out a girl who was slamming hot but she had to like you and all this while displaying good penmanship. I remember in 4th grade I wrote Stephanie Weaver a note telling her that we should get married and move to Neptune. An when she wrote back it took me 35 minutes just to read the first line. Im still not sure if it said "I would love to a whole bunch" or "I should have soup for lunch". Either way she moved to Ohio and hopefully stopped writing in cursive.

The Note: You wanna keep it short and sweet, unlike the emo kids would write five page notes. No hoe in America wants to read that nonsense. I cant write a two page paper on my life let alone five whole pages about how you smell nice and are awesome at kickball. A small paragraph gets the job done. If you wanted a note in return you had to always throw in a question somewhere in your note. When finished, you wanted to make sure the note would stay folded so no outsiders could read it, but loose enough where she could get at it in 2 or 3 unfolds. Also less unfolds means less noise, and less noise means the other chicks in class dont know you just gave her a note. It was all about keeping the options open baby. Cause who knows how hot that Polish girl with braces is gonna be in 3 years when Uncle Puberty comes to visit.

The Handoff: You learn this trait over time. I had 67 notes confiscated by teachers during third grade and not one since. The hand to hand note passing is old school and only worked if your teacher had a seeing eye dog. The "pssp" noise followed by a throwing of the note is a brutal move too. The best way to get that sucker into her hands was "The slip n slide". You would put the note in your cupped hand and then drop it on her lap/desk when walking by. Its like Santa Claus delivering a care package, an if there is one thing broads love its The Bachelor on NBC, and if there's two things they love its The Bachelor and Santa Claus. They always were like "What the F Nick, dont just drop your trash . . . . Oh my gosh, you're such a sweeteheart, I love it."

Throwback Jam

Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack

I used to play this song everyday in my car with the windows down when I was returning from lunch. All the cheerleaders and pommies usually dropped whatever they were doing and would break into dance.

((Link to the music video))

Debate Team

I want to hear everyones thoughts on the matter. Greatest character in a movie of all-time? Can't say airbud either, cause even though he played one hell of a jump shooting dog, hes still a dog.

-Comment Below-

Mailbag with Doctor Hall

If anyone ever has a question about anything you can email it to Yummybro@gmail.com and Doctor Hall (graduated in just 4.5 years) will answer it with style, class, and fortitude. Just kidding, because I dont even know what fortitude is, but I will use a buttload of style and class. . . . a buttload.

Why is it that all girls named Morgan and Brooke are hot?  Do their parents just know or are they just really lucky, whats the deal?

- Evan Akers   Joliet, IL

This question is similar to what came first the chicken or the egg? You're in luck though Evan because I wrote my senior thesis on this subject matter. Just by naming a  girl Brooke or Morgan it gives them an extra chromosome, so instead of having the normal 46, they now carry 47. An that 47th zome (as we doctors call it) carries an extra cup size, allows for softer skin, and makes sure fatty foods do not go straight to their hips.

- Dr. Hall

PHD - Playa Hatin Degree

T.Y.B. Fan of the week

This weeks winner of the Fan of the week goes out to Brittni Pine

Hometown: The Woodlands, TX

College: Texas A&M University

Hobbies: Farting underwater, Watching blue clues with her handy dandy notebook, and Meeting guys on Craigslist.

Fun Fact: Brittni can type almost 7 words a minute

Why She Won:  Brittni came on the scene pretty recently with a vengeance, She added roughly 75 of her Texas A&M friends to be fans of "Thats Yummy Bro" on facebook and really enjoys the site. Britt Britt you're A-ok with me.

YouTube Tuesday!

If you have any videos that are funny and you would like to see on the site, email them to YummyBro@gmail.com

Here is a great "real men of genius" video by my old teammate with the Phillies and TYB fan Jake Blalock. He's a brutal singer which adds to the comedy and you know you always gotta respect the skee-ball player.

Here you have a very articulate and smart young 7 yr old who decided to take his grandmothers car out for a spin and make sure her alignment was alright. Best part is what he thinks his punishment should be.



Video sent in by: Peter Brunner

A phenomenal recreation of Christian Laettners buzzer better in the 1992 Final Four. Chris Farley is always comedy, but in this ones hes absolute butter.



Video sent in by: Matt Lythberg

New Yummy Bro Segment - TYB's What to Tivo

 This is a new segment for Thats Yummy Bro. I am gonna be doing this bit every Monday to keep you fools up on the latest shows. This way you can either watch them, tivo em, or if youre a big fan of the 90's you can VHS those bastards.


Pawn Stars - Monday 9pm cst on the History channel. If you like history and overweight guys that talk super slow and try to buy things then its one of the best shows on tv. The man they call Chumlee makes it worth while.


USA - Olympic Hockey vs. Norway - Tues Feb. 16 2pm cst on NBC. Probably the only real sport in the winter Olympics besides cross country skiing. What a gay sport cross country skiing is. I bet only 12 people in America cross country ski, which means if you're an average skier then you made the Olympic team.


Cake Boss - Mondays at 8pm cst on TLC, Its on TLC so it sounds like it would suck, but my brother got me hooked on this show. Buddy and his bakers at Carlos bakery design extravagant cakes for weddings, parties, and famous people. They're all Italian and are always yelling at one another, the show is basically Jersey Shore minus the hot tub.

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Jay Williams

Here you have Steve Rosenbaum and Ian Zinsmeister with famous Duke and Chicago Bulls point guard Jay Williams. Im not sure whats more impressive, Jay Williams or Ian's last name. The spelling of that looks like someone sat on the keyboard. I don't know either of them but they are big yummy bro fans so you know they gotta be cool.

Jay Williams was known as one of the best guards to come out of college in a long time. He was the Bulls first pick and then decided to buy a Motorcycle with his money. Seems like a good purchase for a man with a mustache and a ponytail, not a superfreak athlete. Long story short Jay crashed his bike shortly after his rookie season and it pretty much ended his career. He tried coming back to the NBA after the accident but after all of his surgeries he was about as athletic as my great grandfather(wrestled in 8th grade).

Big Gulp Award - NIU Baseball

The Northern Illinois University  Baseball team opens up its 2010 season with a trip this week to Tempe, AZ to take on the No. 5th ranked Arizona State Sun Devils. The Huskies are lead by Seniors Jordin Hood, Dave Reynolds, Andy Deain, and Brian Smith. All these boys can flat out play, and Deain is from Crystal Lake, IL so you know hes buck wild. If you're not excited for baseball season then you should move to Kuwait and eat sand.

(sidenote) The GQ in eye black is Pat Minogue and he is now an investment banker in Chicago. Congrats Pat, now give me some money.

Big Gulp'n It

A lot of people say Steve "Nana" Narish is a genius, and according to this picture I would have to agree with them. A lot of people say 64 ounces of mountain dew is way too much for one drink, I would have to disagree with them. The fact of the matter is kids dont  just grow up to be 5'10'' on there own, they need supplements and the Dews got it all.

In 6th grade there was a rumor going around that Mountain Dew contained yellow 5 which either lowered your sperm count or made your junk small, cant remember which one so I phoned a friend.  Well according to Steve's ex-girlfriend it did both.

Send in your own Big Gulp Pics to YummyBro@gmail.com

Actual Quote

"Come on guys, Eagles fly together"
(a dead serious player on the Robert Morris University Eagles baseball team, while the team was tired and running sprints)

- Matt "Dirt" Wagner

Photo of the day - Chipolte

This is a photo of what the bathrooms at Chipolte should look like. Anyone who has ever eaten there knows exactly what I am talking about. That sprint of desperation to the bathroom roughly 25 minutes after you have consumed the burrito.

 As a man who loves his barbacoa burritos from chipolte, Im familiar with the sprint while undoing your belt move,  its pretty standard for any strategic dumper. Oh also whenever you are on the toilet its always a good time to bust out your cell phone and do a little cleanup. By cleanup I mean go through and delete some of the people you dont talk to anymore. I deleted Mike Holescher about 12 hours ago.

Throwback Thursday - Trampolines

Its Throwback Thursday so I'm taking you back to when trampolines were cooler than just about any other outdoor activity there was. I had my first kiss ever on a trampoline so they have always been a little soft spot of mine. I remember like it was yesterday, sure was a gorgeous little thing, she was black and had a real firm lower half, I think I was the third kid who had gotten to her that day. Just so were clear I was referring to the trampoline.

Here was the rule of thumb for being a teenager in Illinois and probably most of the 47 states (I never count Alaska, New Mexico and Wisconsin). You were only cool if you had a trampoline or your best friend did, no exceptions! Lucky for me, my main man Johnnie Allen who lived behind me had a crisp 14 footer with blue trim that could make a 7th grade broad wet from a quarter mile.

The main goal when jumping with someone else was to steal there jump and in return it would give you a double bounce. I perfected this move with tremendous practice and attention to detail. You would want to bring up your knees just high enough that your buddy would land a split second before you did. I used to get so high on the thing, I was taking dumps on birds. A lot of kids would do flips and stuff, not me, I always tried but I was the retard who got about half way through a flip and landed on his neck then bounced diagonal off the trampoline and into some bushes. I never did quite master that damn move, but I had a butt bounce that was second to none.

- Nick Hall

Throwback Jam

A lot of you will see this song and think this it's gay, then a lot of you you will play the video, and then a lot of you about 35 seconds in will be singing it really loudly. This song was on at every girls party, I know because I too was at every girls party.

Earthquake

Apparently there was an earthquake in Northern Illinois and it registered a 4.3 on the Nickter scale. Dont worry, Crystal Lake or as scientists call it the 8th world wonder is just fine. Its not often you get a blizzard and earthquake in the same day, but its also not often You're 6'5'' and dance like Usher. 

Northern Illinois Relief Act

To donate 10 bucks, Text - Move Over Haiti to 65384

Oh Dang Doo

On News stands now is the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Brooklyn Decker was lucky enough to land herself on the cover, I dont know for sure but Im assuming she must of beat out my girl Kellie Pickler by a hair. I personally think these types of magazines are filth, nothing but soft porn that deteriorates the mind. Anyone who reads this crap is going straight to hell Planet Awesome.

I was goofing before, this magazine is the only reason I can still read. I saw this puppy on the shelf and after seven years of never reading, I went from a kid who had trouble pronounce compound words to reading faster than John Travolta in Phenomenon. If I had $3.50 I probably would have bought it, but I just did the cheap ass move where you read it then put it back on the rack. Its not something I'm proud of, but then again neither is my bank account of 73 dollars.

T.Y.B. Fan of the week

And this weeks award for Yummy Bro Fan of the week goes out to Todd "Papa" Babington.

Hometown: Crystal Lake, IL

College: Austin Peay University

Hobbies: Saving his anytime minutes, Breaking and Entering, and Going on blind dates with blind girls

Fun Fact: Todd decided to become a vegetarian in 2009 and made it almost 11 hours until his friend couldnt finish all his beef jerky and offered him some. Todds response "God I love the Teriyaki kind"

Why he won: Talks daily about TYB, Sends in videos all the time, has spread the website throughout IL and TN. Put the site as his facebook status and lived in my neighborhood growing up.

YouTube Tuesday!

Tricks at LSU know how to tailgate . . . . nuff said



Video sent in by Spencer

This is a video link to 6 of the top NFL prospects for next years draft training for the combine. Pretty awesome video if you like sports.

http://www.nothinbutfreaks.com/videos/126101

- Sent in by Drew Hall

Great commercial during the superbowl. Nudity was in like 75% of this years commercials so it lost a little luster


video sent in by: Chris Leggee and Emily Medchill

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Matt Forte

Here you have Beth Magana (pronounced Vagina but with an M) at a bar in Florida with her friends and Chicago Bears running back Matt Forte. As a bears and Garrett Wolfe(bears backup RB) fan, I hope Forte spends a lot more time in bars then in the weight room.

Matt Forte had a spectacular rookie season in 2008 that was followed up by this season in which he ran a lot like Beth would have if she started all 16 games. You know this bar was expecting a big shot like Forte to arrive by the strategic single blue balloon in the background. They don't just give those out for anybody.

Yummy Bro Suggestions

 Math Teaser, Find the answer while using the following: (correct answer will be in the comment section)

If:
2 + 3 = 10
7 + 2 = 63
6 + 5 = 66
8 + 4 = 96
Then:
9 + 7 =????

Remember if you have anything cool you wanna see on the site, send an email to Yummybro@gmail.com
- Sent in by Brad Medchill

Big Gulp Award

Here is the first ever 2-time Big Gulp Award winner in Mike Cash. As you can see he is a man of many talents; baseball coach by day, basketball ref by afternoon, Baller by night. He won his previous award early last year for running a high octane pro style offense from the coaches box at third base, but this time it's a whole different story.

He wins it for having his right lung collapse. I know what you're thinking, You gave him an award cause his one lung didnt work? No, I gave him the award because his other lung was able to keep that 190 pounds of pure man steel alive and kicking.

This guy cheats death on a daily basis. That lung should be donated to science when he dies because its gotta be from another planet. If you would of asked me a month ago if that man could live with only one lung, I'd say "one lung hahaha, I dont know he lives with two lungs, guys a freak. I once saw him run 12 miles with skis on"

Photo of the day

This may be the single greatest school dance picture ever taken. This boy is off the hook, not only is he dancing with a girl who's at least six inches taller than him but his right hand seems to be going for the gold. Can you imagine the story this kid must have been telling after that dance?

Friend: How was the dance?
Kid: It was pretty fun. The punch was really good, The DJ played a lot of songs I knew, oh and I fingerblasted this eighth grade chick.

((Click here for the picture))

Nick Halls Jam you should download

Gucci Mane & Usher - Spotlight

This is a real good song, if you enjoy usher on a song I suggest you download this little number

Quick Thoughts By: Nick Hall

Everyone male on earth was waiting for the Olsen twins to turn 18 and when they did it was the biggest disappointment ever. They went from being cute and appealling to anorexic and whiter than that powder guy. A total bust in the terms of being one of the most highly touted prospects in history. I had a buddy who circled the date on his calendar only to use that calendar as a starter for his bonfire.

Throwback Thursday - Nickelodeon Shows

If you are now in your 20's and you didn't watch Nickelodeon religiously growing up then odds are good you're either behind bars or still searching for that first friend. They had so many good shows so I can't name them all but here were some of the best.

Wild N' Crazy Kids - From flying down a hill on inner tubes to jumping on a wall in a velcro suit this show had it all. Omar Gooding was easily my favorite coach, dude always had a fresh hi-top fade too. I used to watch in awe that kids actually got to do this stuff. One thing I never understood was why people who jumped in the pie filled kiddie pools never ate any of it. I would of spent the whole half hour in that bitch just pounding down pie.

Salute Your Shorts - Legitimately looked like the worst summer camp to ever attend, but those parents sent there kids there for like 7 straight years. It was brutal because the bunks they lived in looked like I built them, Budnick was always causin up a ruckus, and donkey lips was the size of a house and not to mention he slurred like Daffy Duck. You can say what you want about Ugg Lee, but he was one hell of a camp counselor.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? - I used to watch this show and then have to sleep that night with every light in my room on. Once they sprinkled that dust over the campfire I knew I was in for a bumpy ride. I remember one episode perfectly, this kid had to keep solving riddles so he could stay alive, not gonna lie they messed with the wrong 12 yr old cause that kid sharp as a tack.

What Nickelodeon show did you watch?

Throwback Jam

Technotronic - Move This

Unreal song, I heard it in my car on Sirius Radio, I was swerving and changing lanes cause I was dancing the whole time. I will pay anyone 50 bucks if after watching this video they can tell me if this person is a guy or girl
(music video link)

Whats Hot and Whats Not - February

It's February people and a new month, so you know I need to fill everybody in on whats hot and whats not for the next 28 days.


WHATS HOT*
Fake Sleeping - This stunt can get you out of doing chores, going to church, or having to hangout with the loser who spent the night and is still in your family room. I've been Ballin' and fake sleeping since the mid 90's, thats not a joke its a fact.


Breaking New Years Resolutions - These are the dumbest things ever and according to Nickipedia less than 5% of people stick to them. The first 2 weeks of January my health club was wall to wall people and now its about as busy as Bennigans.


99 cent Spicy Chicken Nuggest at Wendys - I cant believe it. Delicious chicken nuggets with a spicy crispy crust for less than a dollar, has Dave Thomas been reading my diary?


WHATS NOT*
Valentines Day - Buying gifts for V-Day is about as fun as getting kicked in the crotch. The way I see it you have 2 options; You can dump her and play it cool by re-asking her out around February 17th or just fake sleeping the whole day.


Black History Month - Im not racist, but a whole month to celebrate your own race's history? Asians, Whites, Gingers, Spaniards, and Arabs don't have a month. Wait take out Arabs because no one cares about them.


Mirror Profile Pic - By no means should your profile picture on facebook be of you taking a photo of yourself in the mirror with your cell phone. This move instantly alerts people that you suck at life.

Actual Quote

"Hey man I just bought a new car, I got a PT Cruiser. Well I call it the PT Crusher because I crush hoes in the back"
-J. Pugliese

T.Y.B. Fan of the week - Brett Doszak

The award for this weeks fan of the week goes out to the budweiser man himself Brett Doszak

Hometown: Joliet, IL

College: Northern Illinois University

Hobbies: Going to the orphanage and telling kids he's there dad then drop the "Just kidding" bomb, Trying out for American Idol every year, and Measuring his dong with a protractor

Fun Fact: Once, Brett totaled his car so he could get the insurance money to buy a massaging chair

Why he won: Brett has enjoyed the site for awhile now, even though he originally thought it was a porn site when I sent him the link. He also owns a TYB shirt and has recruited numerous people to the site. It doesnt hurt that we sat 2nd row at the Bulls game yesterday either chatting about Yummy Bro with Baron Davis.

YouTube Tuesday!

Here is comedian Bret Ernst, The first 2 minutes isnt all that good, its the last 2 minutes of the video where he talks about the bully at his Roller Rink, Ive watched it 7 or 8 times. Classic bit.


Sent in by John Frappier

You will hate this video for until its almost over then it just becomes hilarious so bear with it. Real good stuff by Paul Rudd and Kristin Wiig on Saturday night live. "You see theres 2 Johnson roads"


Sent in by Nick Hall

Video is self explainatory

Video sent in by: Michelle Sullivan

Scarf on a girl = Boo ya

Females, first things first, at this very moment there is a trend that has been sweeping the nation. Its where girls just wear scarves for the hell of it. I mean some of these tricks will wear one when it's not even cold outside. Its like theyre trying to make some bold fashion statement, and you know what ladies, I hear you loud and clear. 


This fad is the greatest thing to hit the female gender since the pill. Im kidding thats gross, but seriously birth control is a always a good option if you like to put out. The scarf on a broad is very similar to ranch dressing, you can put it on anything and right away it makes it better. I honestly can't tell you why I'm so attracted to it. I think it might be that cool knot the hoes use to tie it off. If I ever get married I'm gonna put 50 scarves on our wedding registry, that should keep things spicy for awhile.

Big Gulp Award

This weeks big gulp award goes out to Kenny Powers. If you dont own or havent seen the Eastbound and Down series on HBO then you need too right now. Kenny powers is a washed up steriod using racist pitcher who drops some of the greatest quotes known to man. Here is just a few of his classic lines


"Fundamentals are the crutch of the talentless"


"I thought the blacks in Baltimore were bad, but it turns out they're nothing compared to these fags you got in San Francisco"


"If theres one thing I hate its losing, if theres two things I hate its losing and cancer"

Hangin with Mr. Cooper - Paul Konerko

Here is a picture of Pete Kelly at Soxfest last weekend with Chicago White Sox slugger Paul Konerko. My favorite part about this picture is Konerko breaking down the barriers we have in todays society, like youre not allowed to make 15 million dollars a year and wear a purple plaid shirt. 


Pete also had pictures with Hawk Harrelson, Ozzie Guillen, and Gordon Beckham but I figure if its one thing Yummy Bro fans want its a slightly overweight power hitting first baseman. This guy has played 10 seasons in the major leagues and I have yet to see him sprint or even run fast, now thats what I call talent.